[jeffwask]

Do you also fear being sexually assaulted every time you walk to your car in a dark parking garage?

Are you often sexually harassed in public spaces?

An un-housed person asking you for cash at a gas station doesn't put your experience on par with what women experience every day.

I knew the answer in the article was safety before I read it. We live in a society where women feel unsafe in normal situations us men never even consider.

Be better.

[pseudo0]

There is a societal stigma against men admitting fear or nervousness, but statistically men are more likely to be victims of violent crime than women: https://www.statista.com/statistics/423245/us-violent-crime-...

[pwinnski]

Moving the goalposts from sexual harassment to violent crime doesn't change reality. I don't know any men who fear violent crime every time they step foot out of the house, unless they are actively involved in a lifestyle that tends to violent crime. Most women I know fear sexual harassment and worse every time they step foot out of the house.

[pseudo0]

Violent crime includes sexual assault and rape. And the GP post is a man discussing his experiences with aggressive panhandling, which can escalate into an assault or attempted mugging. My point is that perceptions of risk and societal willingness to acknowledge risk differs between men and women. Men are incentivized to play down risks to their personal safety to save face, while the dynamic is reversed for women.

As to how this relates to the overall discussion, I'd suspect that men and women have similar safety concerns, but men are just more likely to lie about it on surveys.

[pwinnski]

> I'd suspect that men and women have similar safety concerns, but men are just more likely to lie about it on surveys.

Talk to more women, I'd say.

I have been scared in my life, and I have known many men I would describe as being generally-fearful people, but I have never met any man who spent as much of their life considering physical safety as one of their highest priorities every single day of their lives, and I have talked to many women who describe that feeling in different words.

I think it's good to acknowledge that men can be, and sometimes are, scared. But I think you do a disservice to both men and women when you look at "violent crime" stats (skewed heavily by gang activity most of us will never encounter regardless of gender) and believe that men and women are generally equally concerned about safety. That flies in the face of the experiences of nearly everyone, I think.

Put another way: there are some neighborhoods in which I would not like to walk alone at night, but I have never once worried about being attacked while walking for exercise in a tony suburb in the afternoon. Any time I've encountered a woman while doing so, they would cross the street, be holding keys in their hands, or both. I don't think I'm a scary-looking guy, but as an unknown man they encountered, even in a tony suburb in the afternoon, concern for their safety prompted them to take action.

You don't have to believe me, and I can't convince you. But if you ever listen to women, read women, or even believe the comments you see on this page from women, you might just understand life a little more.

[pseudo0]

> and I have talked to many women who describe that feeling in different words.

This illustrates my exact point - you are basing your opinion on the number of people who have opened up to you about their feelings. Men in general don't do that, especially when it involves fear and vulnerability.

> But I think you do a disservice to both men and women when you look at "violent crime" stats (skewed heavily by gang activity most of us will never encounter regardless of gender)

Inter-gang violence is definitely overrepresented in murder and shooting stats, but I doubt it has much of an impact on general violent crime stats. Gang members typically don't call the cops when they are victims of crimes, and are unlikely to answer crime victimization surveys from the government.

> Any time I've encountered a woman while doing so, they would cross the street, be holding keys in their hands, or both.

That isn't normal. Either the women in your neighborhood listen to way too many true crime podcasts, or you are scarier looking than you think.

> But if you ever listen to women, read women, or even believe the comments you see on this page from women, you might just understand life a little more.

The condescension really is not needed or constructive.

[pwinnski]

You don't know me nor the men I've talked to. I have had deep meaningful conversations about fears and vulnerability with many men, and they almost never involved physical safety. Conversations about shame, and emotional pain, and fear of failure and being perceived as weak, yes. About being attacked on the street, almost never.

You doubt, and you suspect, and you believe. More than three-quarters of rapes and sexual assaults are not reported[0]. Violent crimes involving injury, or murder, are reported by the medical personnel involved. When you rely on one set of statistics to negate widespread fears, and ignore all reports or statistics that support them, you don't end up with a clear view of things.

The experiences I describe are 100% normal in suburbs all around America. It's not just once or twice, and I'm not the only man to have noticed this.

If you don't want condescension, base your opinions on facts rather than counter-factual beliefs and feelings. I'm linking to statistics and reports, and you're parroting stereotypical generalizations countered by comments from women on this very page.

I am taking your statements at face value, but at this point it is starting to honestly feel like you're trolling, so carry on.

0. https://www.statista.com/statistics/251934/usa--percentage-o...

[jeffwask]

All I have is 47 years of life experience and in those years not once has a male friend or acquaintance asked if I could walk them to their car, follow them home, or pretend to be their SO because they felt unsafe in a public situation. The number is significantly higher when I switch the context to female friends.

If you want to play red pill semantic games around it's not safe for men either, I pity you and the lack of empathy and understanding you have.

[pseudo0]

As a 47 year old man, would you feel comfortable asking another man to walk you to your car or follow you home? Or would the social embarrassment of violating cultural norms for men outweigh the perceived safety risk? It is not a "red pill" argument to point out that cultural norms for displaying vulnerability and weakness are different for men and for women.

[jeffwask]

I would and I have. I used to frequent dive bars in sketch neighborhoods and I wouldn't even step out for a smoke without someone else. In college we would regularly group up for walks back from downtown.

It's also very infrequent where the thought of my personal safety crosses my mind in locations like malls, rest stops and gas stations. I've never felt the need to carry pepper spray or a weapon. I've never used my keys as improvised brass knuckles to cross a dimly lit parking lot.

I stroll the world as a master with all the privilege afforded to six foot tall white male.