[rramadass]

I know something about sacrifice (my father sacrificed a lot and in time i also did something similar) so i hope my suggestions are helpful to you.

1) First off, it is your duty to help and look after your Mother/Grandmother/Sister as long as possible. You are all in it together and each have to be clear about their responsibilities and contributions so that your family as a whole is stable. Best case is relatives/friends help out and worst case is you are on your own. The latter is what you need to prepare for.

2) Second, set your Mental Attitudes right. Build up Fortitude and dial down Expectations and Wants drastically. Your mantra should be "a bird in hand is worth two in the bush" until you achieve a financial sweet spot. The immediate future is going to be very difficult and unless and until you "keep it together" things are apt to blowup. Be prepared to do a lot of sacrifices.

3) Third, Financial planning and stability is everything at this stage. You and your Mother absolutely need to keep your jobs and bring in some steady income. Grandma can take care of household chores along with your Sister. No money should be "wasted" on anything frivolous. Everybody should know and be asked to deliver on their specific Responsibilities.

4) Fourth, i foresee your Sister as a source of possible problems in the near future. All of you need to sit down with her and make her realize the precariousness of your current situation and how she needs to "grow up" now. No unnecessary expenses and if possible she too needs to get a job asap and help out the family. Only after you have reached a financial sweet spot should she (and anybody else) be allowed to indulge in their "Dreams".

Good Luck!

[Temporarily21]

I worry the most about my sister. My mum said today she wanted to study abroad Operrete. My mother is handling this poorly also. With father this was doable now it seems like childish dreams to me.

I do not want to have a serious talk about growing up as I am afraid she will go crazy because life is now unfair. It will be a week in a couple of hours since we found out. Dad was well meaning. She collected the money from reading books(could go up to 100eur a month) and I guess for birthday, dad took the money, added some and bought her the iphone. I do not think she is spoilt but was raised to like good things and educate.

Two days ago she asked if mother could buy her an ice cream, they would usually buy it at a discount for 3euro but now it cost 6eur. Sis said it is expensive and sadly accepted the fate. But mum bought it anyway, because well father wouldn’t have said no. Mum also said that she will continue eating good food but less if money is tight. The point is quality over quantity always and being realistic.

Again about serious talk with sister - I sometimes feel like being harsh and saying things like “dad’s gone, now is the time to grow up, you need to forget about your childish dreams and choose something realistic” might relieve me of some of the stress but I do not think is for the best for anyone of us, especially because I feel bad about it afterwards.

[rramadass]

This is not the time to think about "hurt feelings", "indulgence" etc. These things are irrelevant in the bigger scheme of things.

You/Your Mother (the two people who are earning now) need to be Pragmatic and very strict when it comes to Money/Finance. If you go down the economic level (eg. poverty threshold) it will be very hard to build yourself back up again. There is also the possibility that a single illness can wipe you out financially not to mention the ripple effect ruining everybody's life.

So have that chat with everybody in the family (and in particular, with your Sister) as a group so that everybody understands the gravity of the situation and can deliver on their Responsibilities while keeping their spirits up. If you all stick together, you can definitely make it to a better place in Life.

Also since you seem to be in the EU check whether there are any social safety net plans that your family can qualify for. This can be a huge boost to future success.

[em500]

Sorry to sound harsh, but 6eur for ice cream (or 3euro at a discount) is indulgence, not good food. I live in one of the richest Eurozone countries, with around €2000 full time minimum wage, and locals here would consider that an expensive treat, or something to sell to foolish tourists.

[Temporarily21]

I remember that more than 10years ago, Ben&Jerry’s cost 5pounds.