[goblinux]

My dishwasher has a beeper for when it’s done like a microwave. It drives me up a wall!!

I don’t care when dishes are done, I don’t need to attend to them urgently. They can sit there clean until I’m ready for them.

There is no way to disable this beeper and it goes off every minute after the cycle is complete. Thank god the dishwasher has a wall switch to the circuit so I can just kill it but oh man. Never buying Bosch again

(Edit) I say all this to say my dishwasher was engineered by the same kind of engineer who 1) has obviously never used the product or washed dishes and 2) optimized for “dishes are clean out them away RIGHT NOW” even though nobody uses a dishwasher like that

[Angostura]

From the manual

Cycle Completion Signal The cycle completion signal alerts you when a cycle completes and the dishwasher has washed and dried the dishes. You can choose to disable the tone or adjust the volume. NOTE: The unit must be powered OFF before activating. To activate:

• Press and hold the right "Cancel Reset" button then press and hold the ON/OFF button.

• When the light on the "Cancel Reset" button you are pressing illuminates and the tone goes off, release both buttons.

• Press the far right "Cancel Reset" button until you achieve the desired volume or until there is no tone (to turn off).

• Press the ON/OFF button. The setting is now saved.

You're welcome :)

[Brian_K_White]

It's the oldest trope since BBS's, if you want free expert information how to do something, just go on any forum and say it wrong, and 20 neckbeards will step all over each other to provide the most correct most efficient most elegant directions.

I'm guilty myself. It's a fine tradition I have no problem with. ;)

[golem14]

I see nothing wrong with this. Most people are hardwired to be helpful to others, especially when no one else is judging.

[iopq]

If you ask a question usually few, if any, people attempt to help. When you outright say something wrong, everyone will be telling you the exact solution to your problem

[Brian_K_White]

This.

Some people do it out of generosity, but for some it's a special subset of passive-aggression, a way to say you're wrong and I'm better, but indirectly and deniably.

I'm pretty sure I do it for both reasons at different times and in different cases.

[oblio]

https://xkcd.com/386/

[zamnos]

https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Cunningham%27s_Law

[causi]

Even if it didn't have the option, all you'd have to do is open up the front panel and rip the beeper off the board. That's what I do to my microwaves that can't be muted.

[hinkley]

Once upon a time I earned some major brownie points with a husband and wife by disassembling their child's electronic toy, inserting a piece of kleenex between the speaker and the grill, and reassembling it, now 30dB quieter.

Initially they suggested I just cut the wire but I figured I could do something a little easier to reverse.

[Wowfunhappy]

When I was little we just put some scotch over the speaker, no disassembly required!

[hinkley]

Scotch tape gets gross after a year. But then I don’t recall how long the toy lasted so maybe I was showing off my pocket knife.

[orev]

Many home appliances have hidden codes you can use to adjust settings like this, including making them silent. They usually come up if you search for “Sabbath Mode”.

[nyczomg]

No idea why I didn't think to look into this more - but my bosch dishwasher has been driving me crazy since I moved into my current house. Thank you! I can now start a load of dishes right before bed without knowing I'll be incorporating a periodic beeping from the kitchen in my dreams!

For other bosch owners out there - older models label the button as cancel/drain. This article was helpful for my model https://www.fixya.com/support/t24500578-want_disable_beep_wh...

Back on topic - if this thing could wash a load in under an hour that would be amazing. No idea what the author of the article is talking about...

[jaclaz]

>From the manual

Out of curiosity, how do you know the make/model of goblinux's dishwasher?

[Angostura]

It's basically the same for all Bosch models

[jaclaz]

I see, I thought there were tens of different models with different features/interfaces/settings/whatever.

At least then Bosch is coherent.

[soco]

I'm sure you are sarcastic here, because I have 4 (four) Bosch kitchen devices which might look similar (a rotating button with little displays left and right) but function WILDLY different - emphasis mine. On one the rotating button can be pushed, the displays are touch sensitive except on one, on one two increment by the touch displays not by rotating, on one the settings are reached by long pressing the info area, menus are a jungle different every time and can be reached by touch controls OR rotating the button... No, Bosch has zero coherence (just in design ok). And don't start me on the sound signals like the stove complaining it got a drop of water on its sensitive touch buttons placed right next to the pot. I'm sorry but I'm 110% behind the OC, no Bosch decision maker EVER used those appliances.

[jaclaz]

>I'm sure you are sarcastic here, because ...

Actually I was mostly surprised by the parent comment, I thought that even in the subset of just dishwashers they had at least three different sets of controls/menus/settings.

>I'm sorry but I'm 110% behind the OC, no Bosch decision maker EVER used those appliances.

Well, I would extend that to most other manufacturers, I believe each one needs to show "something new" at the annual fair, and since - after all - there is not much to invent anymore in a dishwasher or a microwave, they add (senseless) features in the UI that only - say - 1% of users will ever use, inconveniencing the 99% of them.

[LaputanMachine]

>And don't start me on the sound signals like the stove complaining it got a drop of water on its sensitive touch buttons placed right next to the pot.

I believe this is actually a safety feature: When a pot boils over and spreads water on the touch panel, both the pot and the touch panel may be too hot to touch, leaving no way to turn off the stove. So, to be on the safe side, the stove turns off and beeps.

[imp0cat]

Well, we have two Bosch machines (a dishwasher and a washing machine) from the same year and series and the controls are very similar.

[KiwiJohnno]

My dishwasher (LG) plays a cheerful tune to let you know when it has finished its cycle (60 mins) At least its not too obtrusive, and it only does it once.

But.... then it has a cooldown timer, and if you open the door within the next 30 mins it LOSES ITS SHIT at you, beeping and carrying on because the dishes haven't finished drying.

I mean... Why play the happy tune to announce to the world that you've finished... when you actually haven't.

[hedora]

Our LG oven plays all sorts of fucking tunes for preheat, timer done, etc. The only tones you can disable are button presses and microwave done.

Also, it is a dual oven, and the top half is also a microwave. The problem is that the top half oven functions insist on being given cooking times after baking modes preheat. (99h99m is my usual go to, which causes it to round down and demand a second “start” keypress).

The final cherry on top is that it has a fucking modal UI. Like vim, but on a kitchen appliance. The terminal state for most actions is where it says “program complete”, and you have to press “clear” before it will accept any other keystrokes.

I’m pretty sure the people that set the meat thermometer to aggressively cool the oven at target temperature (instead of just beeping out a god awful unmutable song) have never actually cooked. I suspect they don’t even understand what “human food” is.

[SoftTalker]

Yeah for an oven I want on/off and temperature setting. I can time what I’m cooking separately. For a dishwasher I want one button: start. So many things are overengineered with useless or even annoying features.

[Symbiote]

55h55m would avoid the rounding.

[gvb]

Our new(er) Bosch dishwasher beeps three times at the end of the cycle. I like it because it alerts me to open the door a couple of inches to promote drying.

All the dishwashers[1] I had previous to this had a real drying cycle that actively vented the humidity and was effective. My Bosch doesn't vent the compartment so the dishes take forever to dry if you don't open the door.

[1] Said dishwashers all manufactured over 20 years ago, before draconian energy efficiency requirements came into effect.

[thiht]

I wonder if dishwashers could have a setting to automatically open the door. It would be so much more useful than beeping.

Edit: apparently some brands already have dishwashers with automatic doors, so cool!

[kevincox]

If I was buying a dishwasher I would definitely require this feature.

My current model takes 2h to clean and if you open it right away it is usually dry in another hour. However if you forget to open the door right away it cools down and can take 4-6h to dry fully (if there are small pools of water on top of things). Having an auto-open to get the reliable 3h cycle time would be fantastic.

Obviously if I'm in a hurry I can dry manually, but that defeats a lot of the point of the automatic machine. We also put everything in the dishwaster so if we have people over on the weekend then cook lunches for the week we can have quite the continuous stream of dishes for a couple of days. Getting in an extra load or two in that time would be super helpful.

[philwelch]

That’s what my Bosch does. It also doesn’t beep.

[Doxin]

Mine just... pops open by itself.

[dagw]

When I was dishwasher shopping last, this feature alone cost almost $200. As in I could get exactly the same dish washer with exactly same features, other than the auto open, and pay $200 less.

[the_third_wave]

Buy the cheaper one, get the extra part - probably a movable door latch, at least that is how my mother's Miele does this - and build it in the device yourself. You may have to add something to actually make the thing move since the firmware in the controller probably does not have this function enabled on down-specced versions [1] either by changing the firmware or by adding a simple circuit (hooked up to that beeper...) which actives the moving latch at the right moment.

[1] ...like our Bosch washing machine which clearly has the display and touch buttons for more precise program options (custom temperatures etc.) but does not enable these by means of a different piece of firmware. There will be a day when I'm bored enough to hack the thing to do my bidding...

[sixstringtheory]

In the time it would take to procure all necessary parts and tools, and perform the labor, most people could've earned enough wage to just pony up the $200 for a streamlined solution.

Not to mention avoiding the risk of voiding the warranty on a brand new appliance, or a house fire by mucking about with electricity in a device that also has water shooting around in it.

By all means though, to all the tinkerers out there, knock yourselves out...

[krageon]

> a house fire by mucking about with electricity in a device that also has water shooting around in it.

If a corporation can do it properly, there is no reason to assume OP cannot. It is a little over the top to insist their house will catch fire just because they added a latch to a dishwasher (on the outside of the shell, which is what contains the water).

[kevincox]

I have to say, very likely overpriced, but worth every cent.

Right now I need to set an alarm to go open the door when the dishwasher is hot to avoid it cooling down and then taking forever to dry. With the auto-open you never forget, are never busy (you can start it at night and it is dry in the morning) and don't need to be distracted from what you are doing.

[astura]

Wow, I literally got the cheapest dishwasher at Costco.com and it has this feature. I bought my dishwasher within the last year.

[Doxin]

I can't say for sure which dishwasher I have since it came with the house, but knowing the previous owner it's from IKEA and one of the cheaper models.

I can totally see manufacturers try and segment the market with a convenience function like this though.

[hedora]

Current Bosch dishwashers are packed full of something that absorbs water as it cools. So, that’s solved. As a bonus, there are no heating coils above the top rack to melt plastic stuff.

[Tor3]

I saw a model house which had two dishwashers. One for extracting clean dishes, one for inserting dirty ones. Switch forth and back. Obviously you wouldn't want dishwashers with alarms for that.

As for microwaves.. the good old ones had a simple spring-driven timer, turn the wheel and when it hit zero it hit a bell, physically.. a single "pling". Perfect.

But the new one I bought as a replacement would beep five times, and keep beeping even if I opened the door. Crazy and totally useless. I want to have a.. word.. with industrial designers sometimes.

The microwave I have now also annoyingly beep five times, but at least it stops when I open the door.

[kwhitefoot]

My wife had a saying that applied to almost all of this kind of thing:

  Designed by a man!

[MattPalmer1086]

Hopefully we will eventually arrive at a place where it could have been designed by a woman!

[bongoman37]

I know people in the Bosch product design team, there are certainly women there.

[dudul]

And yet, I bet women were pretty happy when men created the dishwasher.

[nielsole]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josephine_Cochrane

[dudul]

That's an evolution of what was invented by Joel Houghton.

[t-writescode]

To be clear, your response to someone calling you out was to ... double-down on your sexism by being pedantic?

[capableweb]

In case you weren't aware:

> The first mechanical dishwashing device was registered for a patent in 1850 in the United States by Joel Houghton

> The device was both slow and unreliable.

> Another patent was granted to L.A. Alexander in 1865

> Neither device was practical or widely accepted.

And finally

> The most successful of the hand-powered dishwashers was invented in 1886 by Josephine Cochrane together with mechanic George Butters

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dishwasher#History)

So yeah, all three invented the dishwasher it seems, but thanks to Josephine Cochrane (and Butters), we actually have a working and reliable dishwasher, something Joel Houghton was unable to build.

You're all right, in your own way.

[Chris2048]

Not sure if it was directly inspired by Houghton's, but it was the first to be commercially successful.

However it seems those early dishwashers where pretty different to modern ones, least of all not being automatic: https://www.homestratosphere.com/dishwasher-history/

[paavope]

One can be happy that something exists while at the same time lamenting that the design isn’t ideal

(Edit: though incidentally, it turns out that the inventor of the dishwasher — or at least one of the earliest working designs — was a woman, as the sibling post pointed out; didn’t know that)

[dudul]

And one can criticize a design without making generalized stereotyped assumptions about the gender of the designer.

[the_third_wave]

Good for your wife and I hope you have some snappy retort. Then, again...

Imagine if someone here said something similar about some dysfunctional piece of equipment:

   Designed by a woman!

Either both of these made-in-jest sayings should be accepted - which is fine by me - or neither of them. Have a look at the way men are portrayed in commercials to see how far this imbalance has gone: Men are smelly badly-dressed clumsy idiots who would not make it far in the world were it not for all those smart women who... [1].

So, ladies, what's it gonna be? Free for all like it used to be with women making fun of men and men making fun of women or shall we have this boring speech-policed culture where each word has to be weighed and approved by the experts?

[1] ...fall in the trap of buying useless products?

[kwhitefoot]

You are over-thinking this. My wife's remark was almost invariably directed at goods and machines that were either aimed specifically at women or roles where women are overrepresented or at things the design of which clearly had not involved thinking that women would use them.

One classic example of the latter is car seatbelts and other safety features of cars. Examples of the former abound in the kitchen which in most families is still the domain of the woman of the house; for instance packaging that cannot be opened unless one's fingernails are clipped short.

[klipt]

It's still casual sexism though, because being bad at market research and design isn't an integral feature of being a man. It's like if you said Theranos failed "because it was led by a woman".

Which is not to say your wife is an awful person or anything, casual sexism is common and often goes unrecognized. But it's good to call it out when you do see it.

[yunwal]

Being bad at anticipating the needs of a woman is an integral feature of being a man. At least, when compared to women. And while this is changing, women still do most of the dish cleaning (at least in the U.S.)

[klipt]

> Being bad at anticipating the needs of a woman is an integral feature of being a man.

No more than being bad at anticipating the needs of a man is an integral feature of being a woman.

[wrycoder]

My wife just hauls out her sling blade.

[majormajor]

"Look at how men are portrayed in commercials" feels like a 20-years-out-of-date stereotype that immediately lets you know the person who said it hasn't watched live TV in decades.

Wanna link all those ads you think are running all the time? Cause I haven't seen many. I remember the nice man with the electric car saving the poor robot dog with low batteries, though...

(Ironically, a dishwasher detergent commercial just ran on my TV here, featuring both men and women extolling how great their new pods were, without any different roles by gender or anything...)

[alias_neo]

I have the same hate. I had a nice Bosch dishwasher I chose and bought in my last home, but I left it behind for the new owners. It would beep 3 times, 5 minutes apart and then stop. The beeps were gently.

My new home has a Kenwood, and it will beep few minutes, forever. If I start a wash before bed, I will literally hear it all night, no matter where I am in the house. Some nights I'll go downstairs just to turn it off if it's particularly bothering me.

Like you, I don't give a shit when the dishes are done, they can stay in the dishwasher until I'm ready to empty it, the stupid forever-beep is terrible design that like the linked article, makes weird assumptions about how you use your kitchen and dishwasher).

[jhoechtl]

My dishwasher is quiet, bit my washing machines and the dryer are talkative. Both have a setup AND a dedicated quiet mode button to silence them. Maybe you should invest some time to RTFM?

[alias_neo]

Now you mention it, I will. I literally had no clue it could/would/might have such a feature, its interface is very simple compared to the Bosch I had before, so I never even thought to look for an STFU mode.

[speed_spread]

I'm pretty certain that's not an engineer's feature but rather the great idea of a product manager answering to marketing concerns wanting to make the product more "human" or some shit like that. The engineer sighed, implemented the thing, kept his job and moved on.

BTW, my Samsung _played a 30 second song_ (loudly beeping) when it was done. I think it was Schubert or something? And again, no documented way to shut it up permanently. Super fun at 2am to be when woken up by a machine that you bought because it's supposed to be quiet.

[pchangr]

It was possible to disable it on mine with the Smart things app. You can even tell it to send a push notification instead. I absolutely hated the sound but loved the notification as it will remind me and I would just dismiss it when I did it.

[speed_spread]

This feels like it's just nagging you to install the app and hook it up to wifi. I've worked for $big_appliance_company and let me tell you... You don't want to connect your appliances to the Internet.

[pchangr]

Well… what I want to sleep. Worse case scenario is my washing machine ends up DDOS’ing a poor guy’s website

[hedora]

Samsung has started meshing their stuff. Worst case your washing machine forwards on a video feed from your fridge of you in your undies binge eating spray cheese at 2am while watching a Taylor Swift concert.

You’ll be doing this as a direct result of years of careful psychological conditioning via maliciously placed ads chosen by some 4chan group.

[yanellena]

Honestly I'd send it back to the shop. Though it's wise to avoid all Samsung appliances because of the huge failure rate.

[shellfishgene]

It can be useful because if you open it while the dishes are still warm, they dry better. Usually you can turn off the beeping with some button combination, just google it for your model.

[_joel]

Mine beeps and opens it's door, I quite like it. The washing machine make a Yazoo style beep to that I sing along to.

Definitely need to get out more.

[r2_pilot]

If the washing machine is a Samsung, that tune is Die Forelle, or The Trout (Schubert).

[_joel]

Haha, no it's definitely the theme from "Only You" (it's a cheap no brand thing, not that sophisticated, either technically or musically, it seems)

[peeters]

> Thank god the dishwasher has a wall switch to the circuit so I can just kill it but oh man.

Surely just opening the dishwasher a crack would be simpler than cutting the power?

[dkresge]

Interesting. I recently admired the creative engineering of my neighbor’s dishwasher which simply, and quietly, projects a small status light on the floor.

It’s a Bosch.

[userbinator]

My decades-old washing machine has a clearly labeled "cycle end signal loudness" knob. It ranges from off to so loud I can hear it from the other end of the house on a different floor.

The other reply with the instructions on how to adjust the volume of the signal shows just how far UI has regressed. Instead of twisting a knob, you need to know some obscure key sequence.

[hedora]

Now that we have kids, I like the security through obscurity of the poorly designed menu.

Of course, I’ll eventually be unable to read all the necessary tiny print, and will then need to get the kids to fix the settings…

[MereInterest]

The problem with poorly designed menus is that they can also be activated accidentally. Then you need to discover not only how to disable a feature, but also what the feature even is in the first place.

For example, once my headphones stopped playing sound whenever I would clear my throat or talk to the cats. It seemed like a weird intermittent failure, because I wasn’t expecting the microphone to have any effect when listening. And because it was an entirely new behavior. Turns out, if you triple-touch the right speaker and hold for three seconds, it will enter “speak to mute” mode. This can happen when taking the headphones off, so you don’t even hear any announcement about the mode.

Long ramble, but non-discoverable interfaces are a bit of a pet peeve.

[expertentipp]

Does it have a digital clock? Adjusting the bloody clocks on every appliance twice a year is such fun.

[fallinghawks]

I kinda wish mine had a clock (though I agree it's a pain having to adjust for DST). The power company has a lower rate after 9pm so I'd love to be able to set the dishwasher start time. Instead mine had a start delay, which technically works but is just more klunky.

[Ekaros]

Mine is integrated... Meaning behind fake door...

So no visible clock... But also no visible indicator of how long it will go on... I might prefer the incorrect time to that...

[eru]

Only in places that twiddle with the clocks twice a year.

[iso1631]

Plus powercuts, plus them drifting.

[eru]

If you have a clock that shuts off when the power is cut, you don't need to worry about drifting:

Most of those are synchronized to the grid, and the grid keeps time really, really well. They actually synchronize the grid to atomic clocks etc for that purpose.

[iso1631]

I have clocks in various mains powered devices that will drift noticeably over a couple of months. Some survive small brownouts, some don't, I have one which will last for a decent length cut.

I'd wager all of them get timing from an internal oscilator driven by a low-voltage DC supply and have no mains frequency or voltage anywhere near them.

[eru]

I guess, if they survive any power cut at all, they are probably not taking their time cues from the main's frequency. I agree with your wager that they probably run on low-voltage DC and perhaps have a capacitor somewhere to bridge short outages.

Where do you live that you have frequent enough brown outs to notice these things?

I have a time switch. It looks entirely mechanical, but I suspect it gets its time signal from the mains: it doesn't seem to drift at all. If there's ever a power outage (which happens from time to time when our breaker trips, not because the real mains is down) it just stops advancing the time, but doesn't reset, because it's all mechanical.

[sethammons]

The grid? As in power lines? How in the world would that even work? I've seen a clock that could reset its own time using radio signals. I don't think radio counts as the grid however.

[throwawaylinux]

Some clocks use the mains frequency as the input reference. They aren't talking about the time of day being synchronized, just time intervals. I wonder how common that is among modern appliances.

[hinkley]

> Most of those

Where do you live, and how old are your oldest electronics?

[eru]

I am saying the ones that immediately go out when the power is cut.

Anything that uses DC would likely have at least some capacitors in them.

[jjtheblunt]

That is nuts and I’ll not buy an appliance with a clock for that reason.

[twelve40]

i think messing with time is what's nuts and looking forward to the day US follows other countries in getting rid of that largely pointless busywork

[jjtheblunt]

I agree.

The US doesn’t mess with time in some states, including where we live (Arizona).

[bick_nyers]

Well... there is certainly a way to disable that beeper, but it may void your warranty.

I've been strongly considering cutting out the beeper in my refrigerator, which will aggressively beep after a mere 20 seconds of being open. One way I like to cope with this frustration is to subscribe to the conspiracy that it is an intentional anti-pattern designed to motivate me to upgrade to a more expensive model that has a (stupid) window. I'm very comfortable with the idea that I'm going to stand there and stare mindlessly into my fridge, basking in indecisiveness. I don't think I waste as much energy doing this as the glass does, being a poor insulator.

[mgbmtl]

I found it annoying at first, but sometimes we don't close the door properly because it's too full, or a badly closed drawer is blocking the door.

[hwillis]

I've got a couple devices that are useable from my phone only. My first reaction to your comment was "why not have a wifi status page for my dishwasher?" Hell, you could put a 90 cent weight sensor on the racks to tell you when they've actually been unloaded vs. the door has just been opened.

On the other hand I don't want another damn app. Why is all that crap bluetooth and phone-only? Why can't I install these things on my router?

[shellfishgene]

You need home assistant or something silmilar. It's more of a hobby than a convenience though ;)

[bick_nyers]

I feel like a simple email would be a much cleaner and cheaper solution than literally everything else that "smart" appliance manufacturers do. It might be a really "disconnected from the average person" opinion though.

[Chris2048]

> There is no way to disable this beeper

Not officially, but there's always a wire that could be snipped, or a speaker that can be smashed..

[Tor3]

Which reminds me about where I worked back in the neolithic.. we had an intruder alarm horn in the corridor, which was supposed to sound if someone didn't enter the magic sequence at the entrance door.

But it had some issues, so sometimes it just went off. It was very loud and annoying. One day our tech manager couldn't take it anymore and came running out of his office, with a nipper in hand, and, as he was a really big guy, reached up to the horn up at the ceiling and cut the cables.

[cactusplant7374]

The LG washing machine in my apartment has a lot of chimes (even on the ZZZ quiet mode). And it doesn't appear there is a way to disable them. It's really irritating.

[jjtheblunt]

We disabled them on our LG. How to do so may be hidden well however.

[cactusplant7374]

Just found the manual and I might have a solution. I pressed two buttons simultaneously but there is no feedback. So we'll see if this works.

[askvictor]

Conversely, a washing machine should have a beeper, as you need to take it out kind of urgently. But my Bosch washing machine lacks this.

[poulsbohemian]

>My dishwasher has a beeper for when it’s done like a microwave.

You'd hate my LG then - it texts me to tell me it's done.

[asadlionpk]

I assume this is a wifi-enabled push notification and not a dishwasher with a sim and modem(!!)

[jmull]

I have a Bosch and it doesn't beep when done. So I guess it's not all of them.

[dahfizz]

My Bosch clothes dryer does the same thing. It will continue to beep at you forever after drying my clothes. Who thought this was a good idea???

Interestingly, my Bosch clothes washing machine has a button to disable the beeper. But not the dryer, even though they come as a stacked pair. ????

Edit: yes, I did read through the manual and entered the magic cheat code to make the dryer silent. Still a befuddling and frustrating experience.

[hedora]

That makes sense. If you disable the beeper on the washer, your clothes will get all smelly and moldy when you forget to unload it. At that point you’ll probably turn it back on.

The poor little beeper on the dryer is defenseless by comparison. If you leave it disabled, how will it find meaning in its life?