[mtrimpe]

I once had I colleague that I had lots and lots of trouble engaging with. Over and over again I would try to get my point across but fail.

That was until I noticed that if I picked up the discussion again the next day he had internalized yesterday's conversation. From then on I worked perfectly fine with him building up shared understanding one point at a time.

I really wish for him, and me, that there was a word he could've used to describe his style of thinking. I'm sure it would save everyone many a frustration.

[xyzelement]

// that there was a word he could've used to describe his style of thinking

I actually think you found those words in this post. He could have just said "I often need a day to digest a conversation. So ideally let me sleep on it after we talk about something"

The desire to articulate something like that is 99% of the task. Words can be found.

[kilgnad]

The most accurate words are actually derogatory. It's obvious but you miss the obviousness because of politics and the need to be polite.

Your friend is just slow.

[acuozzo]

> Your friend is just slow.

The issue here is that, in the US at least, referring to someone as "slow" is making a statement about their IQ.

There are many possible causes for the coworker's "slow"-ness here, e.g. anxiety, doubt, and high standards. Perhaps the coworker feels the need to respond only with well-researched responses and refuses to engage in speculation.

[gardenhedge]

Here are some words for you:

deliberative, thoughtful, methodical, considerate, introspective

[kilgnad]

Here's 3 words that overrides all your words:

cold hard truth.

[gardenhedge]

I think you misunderstood. You said "The most accurate words are actually derogatory". I proved that wrong by providing you with some accurate words that you did not know about.

[kilgnad]

No. You misunderstood. Accurate but not most accurate. The most accurate word overrides less accurate words.