[Hermitian909]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I've been there.

Thoughts in order from most to least palatable:

1. Try your best to lean on friends and family if possible, nothing else will help you reclaim as much time. Don't be afraid to get aggressive here, you guys are struggling, let people know.

2. Ask yourself if you can invest in hiring help around the house: cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. If this buys the time to get a much better paying job, it can be well worth it.

3. Consider a lower standard of care for your partner while you prep. This is a hard option, a mutual sacrifice for the future.

4. Staying the course may not be so bad. If you're married to your partner you may want to divorce to avoid their medical bills if there's a chance they don't make it.

5. If the disease is not very treatable, consider instead enjoying your time together rather than spending money on treatment (my own experiences with this problem and this article shaped my ideas: https://www.zocalopublicsquare.org/2011/11/30/how-doctors-di...)

[comprev]

Getting divorced goes against the promise of being there "through better or worse, in sickness and in health".

That's a brutal suggestion even if your intentions were good!

[cjbprime]

Why is it brutal? The legal status is just a document; the commitment to mutual care still seems present and honored. Why would it be honoring that commitment to leave one spouse in extreme medical debt, and the other spouse with the guilt of that?

(If you read "may want to divorce to avoid their medical bills" as "you should break up with them", I don't think you interpreted the suggestion correctly.)

[toomuchtodo]

The divorce is to firewall creditors chasing OP for post death medical debt. It’s not for lack of love, but because America.

OP should talk to an attorney familiar with creditor and estate law.

[dumy55]

Thanks,I will consult a lawyer

[toomuchtodo]

Hope it helps. I am terribly sorry for your situation.

[theGnuMe]

You do not have to get divorced to not pay a deceased spouse's bills or be responsible for them unless you signed that you would agree to be responsible and you don't have to sign that.

[toast0]

That's going to depend on the state the debt is incured in. In states without community property, the spouse is probably not liable. In states with community property, it depends, some states will consider medical debt a personal debt and some consider it a community debt.

If this is something under serious consideration, it's worth a consulation with a subject matter expert and not just random internet people. Also, divorce may affect immigration status, which seems to be in play as well; and it may make visitation more difficult, although you might just not tell medical facilities about the divorce.

[dumy55]

Divorce is not an option, I will consult a lawyer specialized in this.

[dumy55]

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I found value in every point you have mentioned.

One option we thought of was to relocate to our home country near our family but did not because of good treatment available in US. But this is certainly something to think though for future.

[trungdq88]

Thank you for the link. It is such a good read.