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by DougN7 5274 days ago
Agree completely. I think the quantity of our relationships have gone up, while the quality seems to be going down.
1 comments

Honestly I think this line of thinking is a load of baloney. Creating meaningful personal relationships is up to you, not some internet site. You can still call, send a letter, show up at a door, grab a bite to eat, get some drinks, take a walk in the park, play stickball in the street. It's up to you to maintain close relationships. Granted, it's impossible to have "1430" close friends like on FB, but it's not bad having a wider, loose connection with thousands of people ontop of that.

Also, it's still up to you to call your mom, meet up with old old friends once or twice a year, go out to your hometown bar the night before Thanksgiving. Facebook doesn't take away those "moments you'll never remember with the friends you'll never forget." It just lets you keep in touch with those who might otherwise have dropped off the face of the earth. Don't blame some "social media". Also, kids these days, are just kids, let them socialize, it's probably not any worse than video games or TV, and you can't stop adolescent girls from gossiping, even if you take away their text messaging.

That actually is an interesting point. I agree with you pretty much completely from an individualistic perspective - you are responsible for maintaining your own relationships and Facebook is not forcing your relationships onto a digital wall.

I think the only contradictory point Id make is that Facebook (and other networks) makes it convenient to get lazy and boil more of your relationships down to just being digital which likely degrades the meaningfulness and quality of a relationship. For example, talking to or going out with a friend is many times triggered by wondering how that friend is doing or whats new. Facebook removes or degrades that trigger in that you can find out whats new with your friend through their profile without any interpersonal contact.

Now (while again I completely agree that we as individuals are responsible for ourselves) on a macro level when you have billions of people being nudged toward this direction Id say it does create a pretty significant impact on the overall level of quality relationships within our society.

A friend told me one time about a theory he read about, that has to do with how the brain interprets goal accomplishment with sharing your goals. Apparently, the idea is that if you go around telling people about your goals the brain gets the same kind of "high" as if you had actually accomplished them. This diminishes the likelihood of you completing them because in your mind you've already gotten the benefit and the rest is just a lot of extra effort.

I wonder if it's the same thing with Facebook and other social networks. By "socializing" on FB the brain gets the same kind of high as if you had actually spoken to the person, thus making you feel satisfied with the social interaction so you don't seek them out.