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by andreyk 1255 days ago
Here is the key bit:

"When you hear “balance,” you immediately think of a dichotomy. For two things to be balanceable, they must be at odds with each other. Lowering one side of the scale must raise the other side.

When we describe work and life as things to be balanced, we are suggesting that work and life are at odds with each other. More time or energy allocated to work means less time and energy allocated to life.

This is obviously absurd, though. Work is just another part of life like family, community, food, fitness, creativity, travel, fun, spirituality, etc.

The question isn’t how do you balance work and life, but how do you create a healthy relationship among work and the various other important areas of life? "

This is completely pedantic - obviously work is literally a part of life, so the phrase means exactly what the author states in the last paragraph.

Not worth reading IMO.

3 comments

I couldn't agree more. A previous company I worked for used to force push a day or two off every month for 'work-life balance'. I would throw my laptop on and do a bit of something that was annoying me because it's what I really wanted to do and at that particular time I was excited about solving it.

The next day I went into work and was super happy to explain how I solved the issue as it had been annoying the team for too long. I was a senior at the time but my lead called a meeting with me. He continued to berate me for working and telling others I was doing some work.

While I could see his point, some juniors might feel pressure to do the same, but it was how I wanted to enjoy my time. So after this, I really promote a work life balance but give the autonomy to the employee to find theirs.

Now with my team its very clear and unless there is something absolutely mission critical we always facilitate. Our productivity and reliability has gone through the roof, everyone is much more in control of their work.

I've also gotten this feedback from my boss, that I was accidentally setting a standard of prioritizing work in a way that might lead others to think that's what they should be doing. The way I handled it was when people were sharing what they had done in their off times (a) preferentially talking about interesting non-work things I'd done, (b) being clearly supportive of others doing non-work things, and (c) not being the first to bring up a story if I was going to be talking about work things. I also tried not to send work-related communication to others after hours if I was doing some work later in the day.

("I want to do work all the time" is not a way I usually feel. I've just as often had trouble working while at work, let alone keeping myself from working after hours. And there were also times when I was working fewer hours than was typical on the team but at odd hours that could erroneously have given the impression that I was working extra hours.)

These are actually great tips and will definitely be thinking of them in the future!

As a side note, just read your "Can Ads be GDPR Compliant" the other day, great work!

I realize it’s what you WANT to do in your “free” time, but don’t be that guy. There’s no way for you to do that sort of thing, and then not have it create pressure for everyone else. I had a boss who would be working basically all the time until 9-10pm every night, and was often on during the weekends. He would always say things like “it’s Friday, call it a day and enjoy your weekend” as he would continue working. How am I not supposed to feel guilty, even if it’s his choice? To me, he’s making a sacrifice for me and the rest of the team, and I think it hurt morale, even though he probably intended the opposite.
I learned not to care and go on with my weekend. Set my boundaries with overwork.

Generally, these people are not making sacrifice. Some take time off at different times (come in later, don't come some days). Some are intentionally stretching work so that they are not at home (it feels better then dealing with toddler, the partner is jerk and they did not crossed to divorce, they are lonely and this let's them forget). Some need to feel important. Some actually watch youtube a lot during day (found out from reflection in the window).

Whatever it is, they have reasons that have nothing to do with me. If I slack with work, I am in the wrong. But if I work in full speed, it no reason for guilt.

That’s not very “team player” of you ;)
> To me, he’s making a sacrifice for me and the rest of the team, and I think it hurt morale, even though he probably intended the opposite

This is the wrong take. It's a sign I believe of a junior or a team who is not confident in their output.

If the manager has to leave before you then by your rationale, you're promoting a lax top-down attitude, whereby the manager doesn't seem interested.

> How am I not supposed to feel guilty, even if it’s his choice?

By doing your own job and letting him do his.

I always like the phrasing "work life harmony". Work is not an opposing force to things that are not work. It is a thing we all have to do. Some of us like doing it, some don't, but I strive to help work finds its place in my life. There are trade offs and there is an act of balancing in some senses, but in the larger philosophical sense harmony just fits better for my world view.
balance: the perennial virtue of the under-achiever
I read an article recently suggesting top-performers in the army tend to be happy.

https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/top-performers-have-a-su...

While balance isn't required for happiness, I know many imbalanced, unhappy and underachieving people.

It was meant to be funny, not controversial! I'm sure the world is full of balanced, happy people, with both lives and achievements!
First, so the fuck what? Is it so wrong to have different goals than "rise up the corporate ladder and make stacks on stacks on stacks"? It is not morally wrong to prioritize different things.

Second, if we consider "achievement" to be measured by income I have far better work-life balance as a software engineer than the person who cleans my house, despite me making 10x what she makes. There doesn't appear to be some global correlation between working hard or long hours and pay.

This is a joke that doesn't land because there is a high likelihood that some here believe this.
It's interesting how different people view it differently. I don't agree with the joke in meaning, but when I read it, I assumed he was making a joke or being sarcastic and wasn't trying to offend anybody, whereas the first reply took it seriously.
The joke doesn't land because people feel both unbalanced and under-achieved and largely powerless to change it.
under-achiever seems like an odd word. Not everyone values “achievement” over everything else.