[yogsototh]

What's wrong with a clear dispute?

You write down your point of view and ask what you really want. Start from here.

Hey, we are friends, but enough is enough. I feel the current situation is unfair. I work full time and I should get something like a salary but not you, because you are not full time.

If you cannot find a consensus, then, may be you should ask a lawer to know what is considered fair by law.

[throwfrustrated]

I guess my fear is that, confronted with the choice of: I get money, and you don't; or we rethink our equity; he'll say "You know what? I think I'm ready to be working full time on this!", which doesn't repare the past two years, and to be honest, at this point I'm not even sure I want him full time on this, given his total lack of commitment. "Deciding" to go full time when given an ultimatum, is not enough for me.

[yogsototh]

As other had said, you only way is honesty. The hard one.

If you have so much to get out of your chest, you should may ask the help of a mediator.

But in the end, there shouldn't be something you didn't tell him. Be clear about what you expected and how much you were disappointed. And also be clear about your point of view about him going full time.

If you can't find a mediator, the best way of telling him is by writing a list of facts. Try your best not to use judgment value. Just facts, then what you want and what you don't want.

If I understand correctly, your ideal situation would be for him to quit the startup for free. But let him explain his point of view. After a long discussion you might find a solution.

[throwfrustrated]

I'm starting to realize this may be the only way to go for me to feel good about the whole thing. Thanks.

[caw]

I think trying to agree on a salary is the best course of action, with or without mediation. Keep your 50/50 split since it seems that your friend is opposed to changing it. You will draw a salary commensurate with your experience and time put into the business. He will also draw a (very small) retainer or salary for his 5 hours a week. This will decrease the amount of profit the business makes, but you still split the profits 50/50.