[adantical]

> That spark of chaos that brings curiosity back in and depression out. > It's not what I do, it's the degree of freedom that I felt in doing it.

This rings true to me. In the depths of depression, I find that curiosity gets replaced with a self-fulfilling, self-defeating, yet overly self-confident prophecy -- that every new experience will just be a rebranding of something I've already experienced. I'm sorry to hear you've struggled in a similar way, but happy to hear you've found hope somewhere in the chaos. Thank you for the wisdom.

[lordkrandel]

These mental blocking mechanisms are symptoms of your brain rejecting something in your present or past. You really have to surrender first, lower your defenses, or the cortisol will always make you feel lacking, in danger, void. But you don't need this, it's just harming you, surrender, be vile, don't overjudge. Listen to Wreckage by Entombed. We already failed when we were born, imperfect from the start.

[hxugufjfjf]

This is the reason why travel does not appeal to me the way it seems to for most people. Its still me travelling. Cynical and self-defeating, I know.