[lordkrandel]

These mental blocking mechanisms are symptoms of your brain rejecting something in your present or past. You really have to surrender first, lower your defenses, or the cortisol will always make you feel lacking, in danger, void. But you don't need this, it's just harming you, surrender, be vile, don't overjudge. Listen to Wreckage by Entombed. We already failed when we were born, imperfect from the start.