[piskerpan]

Fall where? There’s always new faces on Tinder, even if the platform itself became hostile and essentially barely-freemium.

Every single issue described in the article has to do with how you use the app.

Talking to 10 guys? Don’t. Focus on one and unmatch if there’s no feeling.

Waiting 1-3 days before meeting? Why. I (male) was recently asked to meet at a nearby mall within 30 minutes of matching.

Dating for many people is more complicated than it needs to me, too many requirements and made-up rules.

The only rules are: be decent and say bye when it doesn’t work.

[ianai]

So this might be your/the male experience. (And I am a guy. Just trying to give visibility into what I’ve been told here.) but multiple women have expressed the “frustration” of trying to date men as a woman to me. They know they’re much smaller or just vulnerable comparatively [edit] this is not to say women actually are weaker or vulnerable but that some proportion of predatory people out there perceive them as such and that’s enough. And they fear the many forms of retribution a man can express - every level of violence, toxicity, you name it. Then there’s the risk of workplace or even career effects if they work in a particularly small industry where everyone knows everyone and one person can unilaterally push someone out through a toxic whisper campaign.

As a guy, I’ve had my share of bad dates, but nothing quite so bad as expressed to me above. And even I have effectively stopped looking years ago.

So I would say I want it to be as simple as just see where it goes and say no quickly if it’s apparent. But that’s maybe not realistic.

Edit-I would delete that sentence but that seems like something HN frowns on so I’ll leave it as context. It really doesn’t matter much whether someone actually is strong/vulnerable if a predator is going to sneak attack them through any of a means of ways which may even be invisible to them ala toxic whispering.

The problem is in people thinking it’s ok to predate on other people and doing so.

[piskerpan]

> The problem is in people thinking it’s ok to predate on other people and doing so.

I'm sympathetic to the risks women run, but this isn't necessarily an issue with online dating, but just dating. "Online people" are just people.

The only real difference is that online dating allows you to have as many dates as you can handle, so if you do go on 7 days a week, you could very well have "a bunch of bad dates on Tinder" in just a month.

I think it's the approach people take that is problematic: meeting at a restaurant on a Friday evening and expecting everything (sex on one side and "payment" on the other). I have dates for lunch, coffee and for walks; zero expectations from either party, it works wonderfully and when it doesn't we just go our own merry ways.

[enraged_camel]

>> There’s always new faces on Tinder

Maybe it's different in your area, but for me, over 80% of profiles on Tinder are scammers, Instagram/Onlyfans models fishing for followers, or just straight up fake. Over the past six months I've gone on only a single date from Tinder, whereas with Hinge it is two or three dates per week. The difference honestly blows my mind whenever I think about it.

[kranke155]

I used to get dates from Tinder but recently I feel like the platform has become - less appealing to women (reducing the number of women in it) and increasingly user hostile.

Hinge is a much better platform, since you can filter out for ie religion. The idea of matching with conservative Christians (or even wasting time looking at them) on tinder is absurd to me - I'm bisexual lol. Those girls do not want to meet me.

[jrnichols]

haven't tried Hinge but your experience matches. It's ridiculous just how pervasive OnlyFans has become across the web. Its user base sees nothing wrong with stringing guys along on dating apps before dropping their OnlyFans link. Just ridiculous.