[Encrust6221]

I'm doing okay. You are right, it's a very vulnerable and almost inevitable feeling, like I've been shown who I "truly" am inside, something that I only accessed directly during that trip, but which exists below the surface all the time. Which obviously cycles heavily back into the anxious feelings.

I've never really put this experience in to words before, reading it back maybe it's time for me to try something other than waiting for it to burn itself out.

[Trasmatta]

<3

God I know exactly what you mean. There's this feeling that surfaces during the trip that's so familiar and so real and you realize it's always there, but hiding under the surface. And now that you've seen it, you can never quite fully ignore it again.

> maybe it's time for me to try something other than waiting for it to burn itself out.

It hasn't burnt itself out for me either. I don't think it ever will. But therapy has helped, as has leaning into life, and getting lost in it a bit.

[saiya-jin]

So it basically allowed you to start the process of reconciliation with oneself, finding balance that was never truly there, being able to work with sore spot that was before hidden too well. You probably felt a bit off before but never went digging and accepted it just as part of you.

What a wonderful therapeutic substance, it just doesn't fix everything on its own but requires further work, paving the path for it.

[Trasmatta]

No, that's not what happened.

[RHSman2]

I had similar at 16 and took 10 years to process it but it was there for a lot longer.

However, 30 years later I have understood it and am very full and compete due to this process.

I think what is scary is that it takes us from unknowing children into fearful adults without the skills to self reflect in a way that we can heal ourselves.

High quality therapy with a sound and grounded therapist really helped me. Beyond words actually.

It is easy to blame the trip but it isn’t the trip. We can alter ourselves, or the way we react to things.

Hope you make some progress.