[thomastjeffery]

If you're frustrated with employees for not communicating with you, is that because communication is solely their responsibility?

Whether you like it or not, communication, and the lack thereof, is dependent on both parties.

If someone is hiding something from you, then they are failing to communicate; but that isn't the whole picture. What role do you play in this lack of communication? Are you giving them opportunities to communicate with you? Are they afraid of how you might react? Could you do anything to make them more comfortable?

Considering you have had this happen more than once, it would be in your best interest to change something about the way you communicate in this context. You can be proactive by telling all your employees how you would react to this hypothetical situation. If your reaction is going to be positive, then they won't have any reason to hide from you, but only if they know that.

And if your reaction is going to be negative, then you are both headed to a place neither of you wants to go. Can you steer the ship in a more positive direction? Can you at least promise to try?

You're expecting a lot of initiative from someone who is already burnt out and afraid of getting fired. Whether or not you created this dynamic doesn't matter: you are in the best position to resolve the problem. After all, that's literally your job.

[traceroute66]

> If you're frustrated with employees for not communicating with you, is that because communication is solely their responsibility?

I've only got two words for you: Fuck You.

You don't know me, so how dare you make such insinuations.

TL;DR: I come from the "Treat others how you wish to be treated" school.

This means I am very much conscious that my role is responsible for feeding families and paying mortgages.

I am open and honest about anything that may affect my employees. Good news or bad. It gets propagated without smoke and mirrors.

I pay for all employee's lunches. I am very flexible on things like holiday time.

In return I expect employees to make ample use of my Open Door.

On the RARE occasions that an employee hides things from me (whether personally or related to their work for a client), I find it very upsetting and I take it personally. I go above and beyond for my employees, its not too much to expect the same in reverse.

And YES, I realise not all employers are as generous as me. But it doesn't detract from the fact that holding back information from your employer is not going to help your cause. Harsher employers will no doubt feel less inclined to help you if you held back from them.

[nikau]

> I've only got two words for you: Fuck You.

I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

[thomastjeffery]

> Fuck You.

> TL;DR: I come from the "Treat others how you wish to be treated" school.

You're welcome to give those statements some reflection. I find hindsight to be really valuable, especially after speaking from a place of emotion.

> I find it very upsetting and I take it personally.

Clearly. And that's your business. You are free to ignore my perspective and advice. Your feelings are real, and I'm not trying to ignore them.

I didn't come here to offend, but I did intend to be direct and assertive with my communication. This social pattern is not new to me, and it isn't specific to you.

Indeed, I don't know you. I can only draw from the limited interaction I have had so far. And so far, that interaction has followed the very same social pattern I came here to deconstruct.

That's the crux of what I'm trying to express here: if I'm an employee, and I don't know my boss is going to react positivity to bad news, I'm very motivated to keep my mouth shut. That sucks for both of us, and me keeping secrets would definitely be wrong; but the morality of the situation isn't going to protect my employment.

You can say all you want that you are generous and forgiving, and that you make plenty of room for open communication; but so far, I find your words hard to believe. In our interaction so far, you have been hostile, emotional, and outright refused to hear my perspective. You had an opportunity to be generous, and you did not take it. I get it: you're upset, and that makes it pretty difficult for anyone in your position. In this specific situation, there isn't a lot of trust being built.

I am not here to tear you down. I am here to criticize you. I hope that you can take a step back and hear my criticism constructively, but that decision is ultimately yours.