[brokenbyclouds]

It absolutely does not force you to change at all, nor does it force you to maintain a good relationship with your partner. Divorce rates are high, there are lots of bad parents. Having kids may have pushed you to be better, and that's great, but there are a lot of people out there for whom it makes no positive difference at all.

[shanewwarren]

I don't disagree with you. Divorce rates are high, and for many it doesn't make a positive difference. I imagine most folks on HN are pretty conscious about striving to be better, so for this small subset I think my opinion is reasonable. And I know plenty of people who if they had kids (but abstain) would absolutely rock at it, and it *could* be a positive forcing function, such that they get to experience different aspects to life.

[lazyasciiart]

People who are having kids because they "want to be better" can go ahead and just be better by helping take care of the kids already here who need it.

[dragonwriter]

In my experience, people who are having kids because they want to be better have something broken in their lives that they ought to to work on fixing before having kids, and the consequences if they don’t can be…quite bad.

Get a therapist for therapy, not a child.