I mean, they’re not wrong! They’re expensive ($300k each 2022 inflation adjusted in the US, from 0-18), they age you faster, and there is no guarantee the experience is worth it. They also destroy relationship satisfaction in the early years. Half of all annual pregnancies both domestic to the US and internationally are unintended.
I have kids and attempt to convince those who ask me about my experience not to have them. It is not for the faint of heart.
You can easily adjust your spending by an order of magnitude either direction.
> they age you faster
Yeah, I'm sure you'd have been looking great at 60 if not for those damned kids.
> there is no guarantee the experience is worth it
Satisfying the primary evolutionary optimization criterion seems overwhelmingly likely to be worth it.
> They also destroy relationship satisfaction in the early years
What do you think the effect on relationship satisfaction will be in later years to have lost your youth in any case, but also to be in a sterile relationship with no connection to the future?
> It is not for the faint of heart.
Almost anyone can handle it. Nutrient-deprived illiterate cavemen have been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years without much issue - anyone doing it today is probably fine.
“Life is going to suck anyway, might as well drag others along for the ride” is not a philosophy worth having imho.
Suffering is a choice I suppose, just go into it with both eyes open. That’s my thesis. You can have a great life without having kids. Unpartnered older childfree women are one of the happiest cohorts, for example.
> Life is going to suck anyway, might as well drag others along for the ride
How in the world did you get that from anything I said?
I can't pick out any part of my comment that could be construed to mean that.
Marginal life is (as of now) more or less strictly positive EV, as is the expected internalized and externalized outcome of most of the people on this site having kids.
> Unpartnered older childfree women are one of the happiest cohorts
I really really doubt this is the case. Typically for sociology research, there are tons of papers claiming strong effect sizes of child-rearing on life satisfaction in both directions. However, older women are by far the subpopulation most dependent on psychoactive drugs such as antidepressants. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db377.htm I unfortunately can't find any studies that break down antidepressant use rates by parental status at all, or a fortiori by age/marriage/parental status individually.