[jrgoff]

That's a useful realization. I have come to similar realization for myself in recent years. In case it is useful to others who might see this, I have found it useful to explore this dynamic in myself through the framework of avoidant attachment styles. There are some helpful resources and supportive communities available online for people wanting to find happier/healthier ways of navigating their attachment style. In particular there are a couple of avoidance focused subreddits that I've found supportive and they keep a list of links to other resources that many find helpful.

[kgwxd]

Thanks. I never heard that term, just reading the first search result it definitely seems to be right in the domain of what I'm figuring out.

[jrgoff]

You're welcome. Just so you are aware, if you go down that route, there are some attachment style resources/communities (even pretty mainstream ones) that demonize avoidant attachment styles a bit, so if you run into that, know that those might not be the best places for someone with avoidant style to look for help but that there are places that are more supportive of us.