[aintmeit]

Are noise levels commonly associated with suicide? If the noise levels around you are those of a bike, a dog, or music, then that's far from loud. In contrast, have you ever visited a construction site?

When you say that one of the things you've tried to stifle the noise is earmuffs, I wonder about the way you're approaching this problem. There exist so many noise-cancelling solutions out there, yet you choose to go with something warm over something effective. It makes me think about the cause of your suicideal ideation. Are your suicidal thoughts related at all to noise levels?

You use the phrase, "tiny corner of control". What are the core beliefs underlying this wish to control a tiny corner of space? And why does that have to do with safety? Does control imply safety?

In 12-step programs, we know that seeking control is what causes us to be sick. By seeking to control, we lose even more control of our lives. In your case, this dynamic plays out so that by trying to feel safe, you end up in a dangerous psychological spot. In fact, many schools of thought will say that the sense of control in life is an illusion.

You can feel better and learn to live with the noise. Please consider consulting a registered mental health care professional. In the meantime, consider learning the serenity prayer. It will remind you that control is not necessary to lead a good life. Finally, seeking help from internet strangers is a mixed bag. You may end up soliciting uninformed opinions, such as, "this is not The Telltale Heart noise shouldn't make you feel bad".

Good luck!

[ananiochita]

Don't belittle a problem that you don't suffer, it is absolutely real, and yes, drives people to suicide. A similar problem is tinnitus -- not being able to stop noise is crippling and devastating.

It's like belittling someone with arthritis, "hey, that's not really that heavy to lift, what's your problem, are you even trying ?"

[aintmeit]

I can see how you have arrived at the conclusion that I am belittling a problem.

Coping mechanisms are useful. In my experience, self-pity is a symptom of other maladaptive patterns. However, people are free to pick their poison, so for future reference, the OP can solicit only supportive comments by explicitly stating that comments like mine are unwelcome. Hope that helps.

[ananiochita]

With all due respect, you immediately question that there is a problem.

Why ?

I take what OP says at face value, there's a problem, can any of us help.

Who are you to judge what's loud for someone else ? Or cold, or hot, or anything else ?

If that's how you reply to a plea for help and information, I'd suggest you don't reply at all.

[rumpelstinkin]

honestly, you are being very arrogant. Loudspeakers pumped out at 120db are far too loud. A dog barking at 100db is far too loud. A motorbike revving at 115db is far too loud. If it happens all fucking day, every fucking day, often for several hours without any pause, it is far too loud.

Please stop propagating the myth that it's all in my mind. Would you say it to someone who is being gangraped? Noise pollution is gang rape.

[aintmeit]

I can see how you would say that I'm propagating a myth that it's all in your mind.

What I did not question was the existence of the noise. Like any health care professional would do, I was asking for an explanation between sound, control, safety, and suicide. Without more information, the conclusions seemed like a non-sequitur, much like how I would want to see how to connect the dots between noise pollution and gang-rape. Hope that helps.

[ffhhj]

This is an improbable exaggeration pattern. A user exaggerates the description of their problem to induce others to understand their pain, then another user requests proof for the exaggeration. The outcome? A cycle of posts with new exaggerations and proof requests.

Thanks for the sample, I'm building a social network with lower noise to signal ratio. Being aware of these social patterns allows filtering them.

[aintmeit]

I am not asking for proof. A demonstration of proof is not a required part of HN discussion nor would I want it to be. I am asking for an explanation in the OP's reasoning because I'm interested in their patterns of thinking since I am genuinely trying to help this person cope.

If your tolerance level for engaging with others stops at what you call exaggeration patterns, then you would certainly think things would be better off in a different kind of social network. Best of luck.

[LEDThereBeLight]

This comes across as terribly misinformed and condescending at the same time. Try living with someone with autism if you think sensory overload (noise or otherwise) cannot or should not cause real problems for people.

[aintmeit]

People are not wholly defined by their disabilities. In the case of someone with autism experiencing sensory overload, I expect them to build coping mechanisms because of their condition. Having a library of tools will improve their lives.