[aintmeit]

I can see how you have arrived at the conclusion that I am belittling a problem.

Coping mechanisms are useful. In my experience, self-pity is a symptom of other maladaptive patterns. However, people are free to pick their poison, so for future reference, the OP can solicit only supportive comments by explicitly stating that comments like mine are unwelcome. Hope that helps.

[ananiochita]

With all due respect, you immediately question that there is a problem.

Why ?

I take what OP says at face value, there's a problem, can any of us help.

Who are you to judge what's loud for someone else ? Or cold, or hot, or anything else ?

If that's how you reply to a plea for help and information, I'd suggest you don't reply at all.