[mikkergp]

If the only reason a person is having a conversation with me is so they can be a better conversationalist tomorrow, than they can fuck off. I worked out today, I ate healthy today, I worked hard and did chores for my family, and praticed my art forms and I did it all for today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with planning for tomorrow, but there is a problem with seeing "every action you take" that way.

Why do you sense this as a strong aversion to people improving themselves, and not a strong aversion to people trying to guilt people into seeing only one mindset to self improvement?

[1659447091]

I believe it's more along the lines of "I'm having a conversation with you today because I value and care about you and our friendship etc; I want to be the kind of person that shows up for others and leaves people I interact with in a better place/mood/etc."

Instead of being the person not aware of their moods and carrying resentment over the smallest slights so they end up bitching about it to everyone. If one never chooses, or "vote", for the positive/uplifting inter/action, then they are "voting" to keep being the person who always has something to complain about.

Similarly, the smoking example, choose to be someone who cares about their health or the person who could not care less. Better is defined by the user. But either way, it will certainly build, or describe, the type of person they are choosing or "voting" to be.

Though, its really just stating the obvious. The more you do or don't something the more those actions become you. The "votes" on those actions don't have to be overt. It's like they were trying to find a novel way to restate the self-help quote: "Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny." (-attributed to the usual suspects)

[tamrix]

Some people are so driven towards being productive that they think their time is worth more than others.

Why should I waste my day taking to you when I could be working and being more productive?

Eventually all your relationships, friends family etc are tied down to how much money you will be making with that time as it could be better spent working, making money .

So sure every choice is a vote for an improved you. No one would question such an obvious statement. But the way this is framed, is that every decision should be a productive one, which will net you more income.

So stop wasting your time and be more productive or your self worth is delimiting. Aka productivity porn.

[1659447091]

I can see how it is mostly viewed - even suggested - that way. I agree, these things tend to all nudge or write in a way that silently yells in that same direction for what "productivity" or "improvement" should mean. And I think we can end up taking those hints and running with it. It's exhausting.

What I failed to get across is that, if we read the subjective points with complete neutrality then the only thing really being stated is: what ever your purpose for doing something is the person you continue to become. Which, yea..

However, at its core it can be an actionable, and practical, statement that can simply be a reminder to be intentional in our actions. Advice completely devoid of the subjective judgment of that intent. But the energy needed to clean up the message to that point is not everyone's cup of tea.

[brailsafe]

Yes, I thought this way in my early twenties, and after that phase I learned to identify those (mutable) traits in others as hollow and immature. Often characterized by how arbitrarily they approach moments in life. Counter to this, I make a very deliberate effort to spend as much time as I feasibly can with specific people for no particular reason other than I enjoy their company and I want them to similarly feel like it's a relationship worth having around longer, because that's inherently virtuous. The activity could be arbitrary or specific. If it's specific, then I might choose the person specifically for it, but if the person is specific, then the activity arbitrarily serves the nature of spending time with the person. I'm never arbitrarily spending time with arbitrary people for a specific outcome though.

[vhiremath4]

I strongly agree with this. I think you really have to begin to love the journey if you want to improve at something with slow incremental gains over time. But everyone has to start somewhere, and, honestly speaking, most people don't want to work out. Most people don't want to work hard. Or eat healthy. You have to force yourself initially to see that this is going to lead to you loving to do these things you currently hate.