Parents are not reliable. It's an unpleasant experience asking another parent to tell their kid to stop bullying your kid...and then being told "fuck you".
If the "speaking softly" isn't working, it's time for the stick.
My aunt had an exchange student in her care. At some point there was an altercation and a boy at school slapped the (female) exchange student.
School didn't want to do anything about it, was hemming and hawing.
So my aunt phoned the boys mother and explained the situation - and was met with a "well I can't do anything".
My aunt simply replied "Well I can have her at the police station this afternoon and file a report, with photos of her bruises. After that I'm going to call my lawyer."
Amazingly, the parent of the troublesome student suddenly found the ability to do something!
Speaking softly only works of you're willing to use the stick.
This is not a story I would tell online. When your aunt threatened to go to the police and then failed to follow through, it may have become extortion.
You can threaten to sue; you can actually go to the police; you can even tell someone you're going to the police; but what you cannot do is merely threaten to go to the police.
"Send me $10,000 or I will go to the police to report past bullying of my child" is extortion. "Stop future bullying or I will go to the police to report said bullying" is not extortion. IANAL.
Extortion: the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats.
If I squint my eyes I can sort of see what you're getting at. But on the flip side, this aunt also called the parent to make sure their duty was done. So it would be hard to claim "discipline your child, please, else I will need to file a police report to stop your child's harassment" is extortion.
I agree this is probably not extortion, but people step close to this line and have been surprised by prosecution or litigation. e.g. pay for the damages or I'm going to the police...
Even if you somehow agree with this, you must realise it won’t work. Good luck convincing the police, the prosecution or a judge that use of the justice system is extortion ...
I grew up in a neighborhood where the bully's dad was the police captain. The bully would target brown kids and property of their parents (e.g. M80 down the chimney, among other atrocities). Everyone in town new the son acted with impunity. Kids our age knew it was worse: the dad actively encouraged his son, and gave him the M80s. No one would talk about it in public, less they be targeted as well.
> > I grew up in a neighborhood where the bully's dad was the police captain.
> Everyone is accountable to someone. Escalate where needed.
Frankly, this isn't really true-- and shows our immense privilege that we can often act with this assumption and have it come true. Most people don't have this experience.
And especially a couple decades ago this was much less true for the type of circumstances we're discussing.
> shows our immense privilege that we can often act with this assumption and have it come true
I take this to mean that you don't believe people are capable of understanding the system in which they live, nor advocating for systemic changes.
This said, I don't see how this tangent ties to addressing the fact that a community leader abuses their presumed power to protect a bullying child. Outside of doing nothing and letting bad behavior happen, one can address tears in the social contract through a variety of escalation approaches. But the key word is to act. I don't think any human system will protect you without your initiative.
That may be true but you need to somehow be higher on the social ladder than the assailant. Good luck if you are getting harassed by police to get them to stop you need to have a direct line to the mayor or at least city council.