I don’t really understand what’s sad about it. I’m from Bangladesh, where nearly all marriages are still facilitated by family members. When a profile for a man comes in, do you think the aunties are looking at the guy’s hobbies and tastes in music? Of course they’re judging men based on education and earning potential. Why wouldn’t they?
It’s completely rational for women to place a high value on men’s income. The vast majority of people want kids someday. From the perspective of women, that means they need to either find a man with a good job that can support a family, find one who truly can take on half the caregiving and half the bread winning, or can truly take over the domestic role. The number of men who, if they’re not out earning money, can instead have the kids bathed, homework done, and dinner on the table for when the woman gets home from work are vanishingly small. Great stay at home dads exist, but they’re unicorns. Statistically, they are vastly outnumbered by the number of guys who leave the mother of their children to do both the bread winning and caregiving. Thus as a purely rational matter, it makes complete sense for women to seek out men who can at least fulfill the traditional male gender role.
Women may, overall, tend to have a different relationship to security and success than men tend to. Simplifying it to "they are attracted to those things" doesn't align with my experiences though.
This worldview is limiting, even insulting, to both men and women though and you should try not having it.
Women are attracted to stability. You can be a stable and trustworthy poor guy and be attractive to women. Women find unstable psycho rich guys hideously unattractive.
It’s completely rational for women to place a high value on men’s income. The vast majority of people want kids someday. From the perspective of women, that means they need to either find a man with a good job that can support a family, find one who truly can take on half the caregiving and half the bread winning, or can truly take over the domestic role. The number of men who, if they’re not out earning money, can instead have the kids bathed, homework done, and dinner on the table for when the woman gets home from work are vanishingly small. Great stay at home dads exist, but they’re unicorns. Statistically, they are vastly outnumbered by the number of guys who leave the mother of their children to do both the bread winning and caregiving. Thus as a purely rational matter, it makes complete sense for women to seek out men who can at least fulfill the traditional male gender role.