[cornel_io]

Arranged marriages are barbaric and effectively rape in many cases, though, especially when they are forced based on threats of disownment or worse, which is common depending on the culture. In some places it is a lot more explicitly threatening. I don't really care whether people who are abused and brainwashed into signing on to participate in and perpetrate on the next generation horrific practices claim to be fine with the crap themselves, that's basically the story of every abusive religious practice ever, beat kids into thinking God will hate them unless X and they're going to tell you X is amazing as adults.

[klipt]

That's not how most arranged marriages work, it just means instead of getting options from Tinder, people get options through their parents' social network.

Which usually means they're more selected for things the parents like (well respected in the community) rather than things that look good in pictures (shirtless pics).

But they're still options, not compulsions.

[lotsofpulp]

I think any useful definition of arranges marriage involved one or both parties not having a say in it, or maybe where one party has such a better negotiating position (such as immigration rights to the USA), that it precludes any other notions of compatibility.

[klipt]

That's a common (and racist) perception of how arranged marriages work but it's not how the majority of them actually work.

[lotsofpulp]

It is not racist. I have family members who were married without consent of both parties. That is an arranged marriage with a distinct difference than that of a marriage that happens with the consent of both parties.

Getting introduced to a potential partner by family or friends and then dating is not any different than flirting with a partner and then dating, for the purposes of describing the circumstances that resulted in marriage.

[ars]

You are confusing arranged marriage and forced marriage.

[lotsofpulp]

What is the distinction? Can you define them?

Whether or not a couples’ uncles introduce each other, or their friends introduce each other, or couple meets each other at a bar/club/church/temple/volunteer org, the only meaningful difference I see is whether one or both parties consented (or was coerced due to drastic difference in negotiating position, such as my immigration example).

Two sets of parents deciding their kids are going to be married as adults and forcing/coercing it is arranged/forced marriage.

Two sets of parents introducing their kids to each other and the kids deciding they want to be married to each other is just marriage.