[klipt]

That's not how most arranged marriages work, it just means instead of getting options from Tinder, people get options through their parents' social network.

Which usually means they're more selected for things the parents like (well respected in the community) rather than things that look good in pictures (shirtless pics).

But they're still options, not compulsions.

[lotsofpulp]

I think any useful definition of arranges marriage involved one or both parties not having a say in it, or maybe where one party has such a better negotiating position (such as immigration rights to the USA), that it precludes any other notions of compatibility.

[klipt]

That's a common (and racist) perception of how arranged marriages work but it's not how the majority of them actually work.

[lotsofpulp]

It is not racist. I have family members who were married without consent of both parties. That is an arranged marriage with a distinct difference than that of a marriage that happens with the consent of both parties.

Getting introduced to a potential partner by family or friends and then dating is not any different than flirting with a partner and then dating, for the purposes of describing the circumstances that resulted in marriage.

[ars]

You are confusing arranged marriage and forced marriage.

[lotsofpulp]

What is the distinction? Can you define them?

Whether or not a couples’ uncles introduce each other, or their friends introduce each other, or couple meets each other at a bar/club/church/temple/volunteer org, the only meaningful difference I see is whether one or both parties consented (or was coerced due to drastic difference in negotiating position, such as my immigration example).

Two sets of parents deciding their kids are going to be married as adults and forcing/coercing it is arranged/forced marriage.

Two sets of parents introducing their kids to each other and the kids deciding they want to be married to each other is just marriage.

[ars]

> Two sets of parents deciding their kids are going to be married as adults and forcing/coercing it is arranged/forced marriage.

This is forced marriage.

> Two sets of parents introducing their kids to each other and the kids deciding they want to be married to each other is just marriage.

This is arranged marriage. In a non-arranged marriage the kids find each other, or they get introduced in a non-formal way. In an arranged one parents or a matchmaker do it for them, but the kids make the final decision. An arranged marriage is simply that there is someone actively looking for a match for the kid.

In a forced marriage the kids have no say, or their only say is to try to convince the parents, but if the parents disagree the kids have no choice.

That's simply what the words mean. You asked for a definition, this is the definition.

Keep the distinction and you'll communicate better on this subject without confusing people. (Notice that the only replies you got were people explaining that you are wrong about the topic - that's because you used the wrong term.)