[blip54321]

My experience here is that courts have no way to decipher truth from fiction, and make ruling based on who spends more money and who lies better.

Legal processes -- with lawyers -- inflame conflict and turn things adversarial.

We need clear, simple, consistent rules. We also need social workers instead of lawyers.

[wintermutestwin]

There is such a thing as a consultative attorney, who will inform you of your rights in a divorce. Unfortunately, they are extremely hard to find because lawyers are incentivized to inflame conflict.

Once both sides know their rights, mediation is the preferred solution for both pre and post divorce concerns.

Note that some courts (CA, for example), have mandatory "mediation," which is not really mediation. True mediation is voluntary and confidential.

The costs of mediation for divorce average around 1/10th the cost of an adversarial divorce with attorneys. Of course, the real costs of an adversarial divorce are the massive detrimental effects on the children.

[blip54321]

The problem is that it takes both sides to want to do that.

[benj111]

Social workers aren't any better though. Ultimately the whole system is a mess.