[wintermutestwin]

There is such a thing as a consultative attorney, who will inform you of your rights in a divorce. Unfortunately, they are extremely hard to find because lawyers are incentivized to inflame conflict.

Once both sides know their rights, mediation is the preferred solution for both pre and post divorce concerns.

Note that some courts (CA, for example), have mandatory "mediation," which is not really mediation. True mediation is voluntary and confidential.

The costs of mediation for divorce average around 1/10th the cost of an adversarial divorce with attorneys. Of course, the real costs of an adversarial divorce are the massive detrimental effects on the children.

[blip54321]

The problem is that it takes both sides to want to do that.