[hprotagonist]

OP seems to be in an educational context, in which you swallow your fear, go to office hours, spill your guts, and usually are pleasantly astonished to discover that the group you need is already there and you can start improving immediately.

[spaetzleesser]

"You must move beyond your shame and guilt that keeps you afraid and alone, and you must have a regular two-way relationship with a community of your peers and betters that you all use to help each other out of these sorts of blocking situations."

I'll second this. Realizing that you aren't alone is a big relief.

[hprotagonist]

noone is equipped to carry that burden alone; realizing that early is a superpower.