| The best solution to getting past the anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle is to take small, manageable actions while accepting the feelings that go along with those actions. Start with the smallest steps possible. Maybe that means opening the assignment and saving it to your computer. Then put it down and walk away. Come back in a little while and take another small step, such as reading over the assignment or making an outline of what you need to do to get it done. Often once you've done something you will often start to feel a lot different than if you've done nothing. Keep track of how you're feeling. It's okay to feel more anxiety at first because you're doing something instead of nothing. Those feelings tend to subside over time as you take action, but the point is not to reduce your anxiety, the point is that you are making a commitment to do something in your life, to live your life, rather than to remain paralyzed in fear. Your goal is not to get rid of the anxiety but to live the kind of life you want to live. This is the model for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. A great book on this is "Get Out of Your Mind and into Your Life." |
Conceptually, they know they just need to put one thing away at a time, but often their emotions kick in first and short circuits rational thought. I help them through this by sitting in the room with them and just calling out 3 things that can easily be put away and tell them to just do those 3 things. Then we will do it again, and again, and again, and ....., until the room is close to being clean and they can finally take care of themselves.
I also point out the phenomenon to them - I call it their "monkey brain" impulse, which I use to describe any impulsive or avoidant behavior. I also use "lizard brain" when they go into a blind rage against their sibling at some perceived slight or injustice, and %kid_name% brain for when rational thought and morality are piloting their actions. The framework seems to work for them, and helps them think about their thoughts (which is a concept I had to introduce to them, they'd literally never thought about doing that - I guess kids don't develop that until later?).