Aside: can you recommend the best ones? Getting to Yes is all I've read, but it seems a little 'fluffy'. I want something more rigorous, perhaps with game theory and models.
> I want something more rigorous, perhaps with game theory and models.
I haven't read any of those. The thing is, those are great for longer term negotiations, but not for short term day to day ones - you don't have the luxury of evaluating things from a game theory/model perspective. Even Getting To Yes is a bit poor in that regard.
Unless you stop making comments like that, I will never upvote a comment you write ever again.
^that is certainly more 'toxic' than:
I disagree with your point. I think disagreements and negotiation with an employer are fine (to your point, one can even use the threat of quitting as part of said negotiation), but ultimatums just serve as an opportunity for the giver to imply that they have more power than the receiver, which is 'toxic' behavior
No finer example of false dichotomy than this.
Hers is a textbook example of how not to negotiate. By textbook, I mean literally every textbook on negotiations that I've read.
Ultimatums are a tool of last resort, and they all caution their high failure rate. It also is typically a signal of a weak person.