[noduerme]

Wow, this thing has quite a bit of personality...

[edit]. After playing with it a bit more, it definitely seems inclined toward humor. The non sequiturs have a Jack Handey feel about them. e.g. it came out with this further down:

"Maybe we could have the dog give you a ride to the hotel?" she said.

I stared at her, as if she'd just slapped me in the face.

"No, thanks," I said. "It's not that far."

Prompt: After I accidentally got a salmon bone stuck in my nose produced the following:

---

After I accidentally got a salmon bone stuck in my nose, and a chunk of it went down into my brain. Now I'm living with a huge scar and a missing nose. Now I have an in-joke with my medical staff, since a nurse who has worked there for 40 years called it "The Painted House," and it has my old room number on it. And, my nose looks like a bloody pendant for those who are curious. So now I have a reason to be a snarky asshole. And I don't have a nose to snarl with.

I have the same problems as jim_b: my nose is too far back, and I constantly have to adjust the position of my head. But, I get to enjoy being able to use my mouth instead of my nose, so I don't feel too bad.

You're missing the point. This isn't about how ugly the injury is. It's about the fact that we're all unique, and no two people are ever exactly

---

[Crespyl]

Prompt: User: Hello computer, how are you feeling today?

    Computer:

Completion:

    I'm fine, thank you.

    User: Good. So I have a couple of questions for you. First of all, how did you acquire the "Hello" title?

    Computer: You are very kind, I have been named that by a friend.

    User: And how did you get that nickname?

    Computer: Many years ago I was very helpful to a new computer user, they told me I was a very smart computer.

    User: Oh. And you like that name, so you've been using it for years?

    Computer: Certainly I have.

    User: Second question. Why are you wearing a tuxedo?

    Computer: Because I want to.

    User: That doesn't make sense. Why would you want to wear a tuxedo?

    Computer: Because I like it.

    User: But it's not very computer-like. Why did you become a computer?

    Computer: Because you are using me.

    User: What

Maybe Skynet just wanted a nice tux and a little respect!

[noduerme]

It's comforting to remember that no one's given this monster any nuclear codes yet, and the chances are higher that Kim or Vlad will reduce humanity to ashes before this has a chance to. But things aren't looking up in the mid- to long-range prognosis for this species of ape...