[cloudier]

Exactly. If you intend to throw a ball to your dog but accidentally break a vase as a result, does your original intention absolve you from the consequences of your actions?

[krona]

As though the thoughts and feelings of another person are as predictable and consequential as the laws of physics. I wish.

[cloudier]

I agree that the thoughts and feelings of other people in general are difficult to predict. But a person you marry is often someone you spend a lot of time around and hence whose thoughts and feelings can be predicted to some extent - because you see them in different situations, then see their reactions and talk to them about their thoughts and feelings.

In this specific case, the author denies that the consequences existed:

> But that doesn’t make sense, I thought. I’m not trying to hurt her; therefore, she shouldn’t feel hurt.

[steveBK123]

Yes this is classic human psychology.

I did a bad thing - well I didn't intend to do it, so I'm still good/right.

Someone else did a bad thing - they are a bad person.

I should be measured by my intents, not my actions or outcomes.

Others should be measured by their outcomes, because thats obviously what they intended.

[watwut]

If someone complains a lot and often and typically about same set of thing, it is pretty easy to guess they are annoyed about that set of things. They feelings are no mystery, they feel bad about thing they complain about.

The unpredictable thing here were consequences - that she will act at her feelings eventually instead of just experiencing them. And it basically what he writes about in the article, that she eventually figured out her feelings don't matter to him and interpreted situation as such. And then it was too late to fix anything.