[cloudier]

I agree that the thoughts and feelings of other people in general are difficult to predict. But a person you marry is often someone you spend a lot of time around and hence whose thoughts and feelings can be predicted to some extent - because you see them in different situations, then see their reactions and talk to them about their thoughts and feelings.

In this specific case, the author denies that the consequences existed:

> But that doesn’t make sense, I thought. I’m not trying to hurt her; therefore, she shouldn’t feel hurt.

[steveBK123]

Yes this is classic human psychology.

I did a bad thing - well I didn't intend to do it, so I'm still good/right.

Someone else did a bad thing - they are a bad person.

I should be measured by my intents, not my actions or outcomes.

Others should be measured by their outcomes, because thats obviously what they intended.