[mattcwilson]

The other branch of this post’s children, from thrwy_ywrht is a perfect example of the sort of neurotic overanalysis that the article’s talking about. It’s extra cute that the poster is using a throwaway account.

Some of the decisions you make in life will run counter to other people’s expectations. The strength you get, and demonstrate to them as well, from communicating your intentions is in acknowledging you can’t “protect their feelings” and aren’t trying, and that you have the respect for them as well to manage and regulate their own feelings.

Good people will understand and forgive minor infractions. This isn’t license to freely commit any infraction. It’s just an acknowledgment of everyone’s fallibility.

[watwut]

> It’s just an acknowledgment of everyone’s fallibility.

You are not describing failure there. You are describing the "I made plans I feel like cancelling and don't care about other person".

Them reacting negatively is healthy self presentation instinct. Because if this is your strategy, you will cancel regularly and they are better off finding more reliable friends.

[mattcwilson]

Feels like we're maybe saying the same thing?

I'm saying:

* People are fallible. They will sometimes commit minor infractions, either accidentally or with sincere remorse.

* Good people will forgive minor infractions.

* This is not a license to commit infractions with abandon or remorselessness, or of any major size, and expect forgiveness.