| HN Mirror

> However, a persistent problem I face with any approach to pursuing happiness is how to get my body to perform the things that would make me happy instead of the things some unconscious part of me chooses to direct it to do; those things are rarely the same.

I've certainly experienced what you're describing. I overeat if I don't work really hard to control myself. At one point in my life I was north of 320lbs. I eventually managed to lose half of that from very strict control of my environment and behavior that was, frankly, excruciating. The pandemic (and other life stressors before it) caused me to put more than 50lbs back on, which I've since managed to get down to only about 35 above my lowest weight, and I struggle every day trying to figure out how to come to terms with the part of myself that wants to constantly eat. It is, seemingly, a never ending battle.

I tell you this because I want you to understand where I'm coming from when I say that it is a mistake to identify 'self' as the 'rational' and 'conscious' part of your being. Evidence suggests that we are actually a lot less conscious[0] and rational[1] than we like to believe, and that instead these are merely tools used by our mind to deal with certain circumstances. Rationality is more often a tool for justifying belief or action than deciding to believe or act. Perhaps you've experienced doing or saying something and not really knowing why? Pay attention and you can feel yourself filling in the line of reasoning afterwards. In fact, if you've ever experienced arguing with yourself you might have noticed that both sides are perfectly capable of wielding rationality against the other.

Point being, part of you wants to do the thing, but clearly another part of you wants to do the things that make that difficult. You identify with one part over the other because, for some reason[2], we identify 'self' with the rational and conscious portion of our being and the desires of the part you identify as 'you' in this instance are able to use those tools to better justify themselves, but that part is not the whole being. Trust me when I tell you that treating the 'other' part of you as an enemy is not going to work out. My advice is to try coming to terms. Pay attention to what each part of you actually wants and try to find ways to satisfy them all. It isn't easy, and I'm certainly not very good at it, but the alternative nearly drove me to suicide.

P.S. Oh, it is also important to recognize that the part of your mind that predicts future happiness exaggerates a lot. There are studies that show this effect, but it is easy enough to observe on your own. Think of a time you really wanted something, to attain a possession, relationship, or goal, and how much you thought it would increase your happiness vs how much it actually did. I believe you will find that consistently it affected your happiness significantly less than you believed.

[0] https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/behavioral-and-brain...

[1] https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-39813-y

[2] My roommate, who reads a lot of stuff about societies, beliefs, cultural worldviews, and consciousness, tells me that this is a feature of modern European societies and societies derived from them and is not actually the normal human condition. I am not prepared to vouch for the veracity of that statement, though.