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by 999900000999 1562 days ago
Doesn't surprise me at all.

My dad's wife hated me, so I got kicked out at 15. Didn't stop my Dad from showing up at school and my job to threaten me.

The joys of adulthood, I deal with my horrible family when I want to. If you gave a bad family, it's imperative you estrange yourself.

In my 20s I made the mistake of trusting these disgusting people. Of course they lied to my face, stabbed me in the back, and asked me to co-sign a home loan afterwards. So my credit stays locked.

Trust is a luxury I can't afford.

Also, many step parents end up treating those kids like shit. If your not going to treat your step kids fairly, since you don't want to do it, don't date a single parent.

You have a bit of a catch-22, anyone mature enough to become a step parent will understand how much of responsibility it is. Thus, they'll be reluctant to do it.

Someone who lacks that maturity, will be much more eager to become a step parent as a condition of a new relationship.

I know I can't guarantee I'll be a good step parent. It's just an insanely hard thing to do, which takes a person stronger than myself.

So I don't date people with kids. I'd sooner die alone than put someone else though what I went though.

1 comments

Consider going to therapy. Sometimes, the scars are not as deep as you initially thought.

Your story seems similar to my wife's, especially the part about being tricked into debt. We've managed to clear things up after many years of she and her brothers struggling. Good luck!

Glad therapy worked for your wife.

My Dad simply used it as another venue to threaten me.

I'm always going to be a bit messed up. It's not really something I want to fix, if I could.

I definitely feel resonance for your position that estrangement is sometimes the best option, and is the one sure way to end a pattern of abuse that cannot otherwise be broken. I was lucky that my parents used it so much in my youth that when it came time for me to use it on them, I had seen many examples.

I might say that your family only has the power to haunt you that you now give them. Truly being able to say "you are no longer of significance to me" might lead you a place that you had not expected.