[haolez]

Consider going to therapy. Sometimes, the scars are not as deep as you initially thought.

Your story seems similar to my wife's, especially the part about being tricked into debt. We've managed to clear things up after many years of she and her brothers struggling. Good luck!

[999900000999]

Glad therapy worked for your wife.

My Dad simply used it as another venue to threaten me.

I'm always going to be a bit messed up. It's not really something I want to fix, if I could.

[chasil]

I definitely feel resonance for your position that estrangement is sometimes the best option, and is the one sure way to end a pattern of abuse that cannot otherwise be broken. I was lucky that my parents used it so much in my youth that when it came time for me to use it on them, I had seen many examples.

I might say that your family only has the power to haunt you that you now give them. Truly being able to say "you are no longer of significance to me" might lead you a place that you had not expected.