[colpabar]

I have tinnitus and I can see it too.

Tinnitus is a constant ringing in one or both ears. Constant, as in it is always there. There is no true silence anymore, because the ringing is always there.

There is also no cure, and really no certified treatment. All we can do is distract ourselves with other sounds and try not to focus on it, but it can still be very mentally draining. Without the right mindset, it’s an extremely hopeless and depressing situation.

[rhino369]

There is also a feedback loop component. Tinnitus causes depression. And then you worry and focus on how awful it is, which makes the tinnitus worse.

I only hear my tinnitus when I think about it. Otherwise my mind filters it out.

[paraph1n]

Interesting... I have a lot of trouble understanding this (as someone who does not have tinnitus). For most things that are permanent, we adapt to the new baseline and, well, "get used to it".

ie. "Oh, that ringing? Yeah, it's been there for years, I barely notice it anymore."

I wonder what it is about tinnitus that makes it hard to adapt to (or filter out) for some people.

[gibs0ns]

Imagine this, you're laying in bed at night, it's quiet outside just as it should be when sleeping, except for the constant ringing of your tinnitus.

You roll over, maybe you cover your ears or put a pillow over them, but the ringing sound doesn't change. In fact you realise nothing you do has any effect on the ringing sound - it's coming from within your head/ears, how do you block out a sound which is emanating from within?

You're tired, you just want to sleep, you have an early business meeting tomorrow, but throughout the perfect silence of the night, this ringing sound is relentless. You know you just need to ignore it and focus on something else, which might be easier if you weren't also trying to clear your mind so you could sleep. So you decide to get back up out of bed and take something, anything, that will knock you out.

Now that you're drugged up you get back into bed, laying there waiting for the drugs to put you to sleep, waiting while listening to that torturous sound, waiting while thinking about how easy it used to be to sleep, thinking about how you'll never know true peace and silence ever again. At some point you fall asleep, only to wake up in the morning feeling like shit from the drugs and lack of sleep.

I would give anything to be able to sleep in peace again.

[syspec]

That sounds really rough, I used to listen to my music very loudly when I was young and getting tinnitus is one of my fears as I get older.

How did you get tinnitus? Is the loud music thing a myth?

Is yours at least not getting progressively worse?

[gibs0ns]

I can cope with it during the day by keeping my mind active along with background noises, it has really turned me into a workaholic.

I too used to listen to loud music when I was younger, I never noticed it cause issues for me at the time. The original cause was a hit on the head by a falling metal beam - nothing noise related - this caused the occasional distortion of sound but was a minor inconvenience really, it didn't affect my sleep or day-to-day life. After a few years of it like that, I found myself at a music festival which did make it worse. It turned into a high pitched alternating tone which is now there 100% of the time.

[quantum_magpie]

I concur with the experiences of GP. It is torture. I got mine because of being stupid around power tools more than 10 years ago, for the first 5 years it was merely an annoyance that would often drown out in the background. Lately it has progressed to insufferable nuisance. It contributes significantly to my insomnia, which is also a gateway to major depression.

[clsec]

I'm curious what you mean by lately?

I've had low level tinnitus for >25 years that I've been able to deal with. But the morning after my second Pfizer shot I woke up and it had been turned up to 11. It now sounds like I have a miniature jet engine inside my ear. It is extremely unbearable and has been causing all kinds of anxiety, stress & depression.

It's been 11 months since it got louder and I'm just now getting a hearing test (gotta love social healthcare).

I'm aware that this is just a correlation at this point but I have refused to get a booster of either mRNA vaccine, to which my doctor agreed. Though I did get the J&J/Jansen booster once the FDA allowed mixing vaccines.

[quantum_magpie]

Lately is like last 3-4 years.

[clsec]

I believe that it's true. I've had it for >25 years and my belief is was caused by lots of loud music in small clubs, where you're more likely to stand next to the speakers, and working in a very loud machine shop when I was younger.

[bobsmooth]

Play this at high volume, try to get through the whole thing. See if you can tune it out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNxFWFuaaRY

[Nursie]

When mine first hit it caused me a sort of despair - this cannot be fixed, stopped, anything. It interrupted my sleep and stole my attention. I searched pretty desperately for something to give me my quiet back, my silence. There's not really anything. I tried various theoretical things - blast your ear with the same tone to desensitise that pitch. Under a minute's relief when stopped. I tried the opposite, under-stimulation. I reprocessed all my mp3s to cut out any/all sound in the octave around the noise (notching) and increased my music listening to 8+ hours a day. This had a placebo-like effect if anything and looking back I think this was part of adapting my mental state.

Now, 15 years later, yeah I do barely notice it any more. Except when I do. Sometimes when I go to bed after a bit much to drink there it is loud and proud and unignorable. Right now I can hear it clearly because I'm thinking about it, a 13KHz whine that never ever ever stops. This is a reason I only sometimes read HN tinnitus threads, not thinking about it is a big part of living with it. Imagine "The Game" only when you think of it, instead of laughing and saying you lost, something squeals in your ear for a few hours.

It's ... trying.

And I'm lucky, it's not that loud, and it's not at a frequency that interferes with much else.

[jcims]

It’s one of those things that i think you need to experience to understand. I had it for about four months and I couldn’t get used to it, at all. It’s not just ‘there’, it messes with how you hear and is a constant active intrusion into your peace of mind.