[inerte]

- Share your own vulnerabilities too. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. The golden rule.

- Practice active listening.

- You're not there to solve the problem, just to listen. Listening is good enough.*

You can actually ask, if they talk about the same thing more than once: Is this something you want me to work on and try to fix, or you just want to talk about? Don't be dismissive, you're not trying to stop the conversation. Tone matters here.

[senectus1]

> - Share your own vulnerabilities too. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. The golden rule.

Careful about making it all about you though...

[MikeTheGreat]

> You can actually ask, if they talk about the same thing more than once: Is this something you want me to work on and try to fix, or you just want to talk about?

Agreed!

Asking helps me clarify to myself the possible goals (and make it explicit that "just" listening is a valid goal). Even if you don't ask thinking about the question is a nice way to remind yourself that you don't need to solve it for them.

My experience has been that women appreciate this question - I think that most men tend to jump into problem-solving mode and actually being asked is a nice change (here in the U.S.)

And of course there's this 2 minute video to memorably highlight the idea :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

[nzoschke]

Thank you for sharing. This matches my experience too.

Empathy starts with listening and continues with making a safe space for someone to share deeper feelings.

Passing judgement, problem solving, or dominating the conversation are anti patterns.

I was lucky to get some management training in active listening at a past job. It felt like common knowledge to me but thru training and practicing at work I was surprised to see how uncommon following the fundamentals are in the workspace.

Often everyone is too “busy” and “results oriented” to communicate clearly and to make time to actually listen to one another.