[beepbooptheory]

Its doesn't have to completely be a challenge or game like that. Or, if it is, you will need to read an entire body of literature for each separate person you want to get to know. When it comes to romantic relationships, the difference between every single person is on a universal magnitude, there is no way you can generally prepare. There is not a ground to stand on with these things unfortunately, there is just the predilections and desires that were instilled in you as a child, and those of every other person in the world. We are all 10 billion air-gapped black boxes of desire. Don't try to hard, just listen and be patient.

[Throwaway8373]

It is definitely easy to go down the road of relativazation.

* On reading: For most people we need better role models than our parents. For sexuality this is probably even ore true. * Every person is not so different. It would appear that sexual dreams are in variation of 10 different "universal" ones. * Studying the underlying dynamics is not about trying hard, indeed it is the contrary. You probably don't even know why the comment "Don't try to hard, just listen and be patient." is merited? If you read you will ;)

You would probably be one of these people who find it natural to talk with women, court them, etc. Congratulations. It is like a heiress telling her poor friends not to study hard to get a job -- just get money from your parents!

[beepbooptheory]

Ha! Fair enough I guess. You're conceptions about people are pretty alien to me, but they are yours and I can only hope you find your way, fill the glass you were given in life.

All the books I have read could only demonstrate love, or try to articulate it, not outline a techne for it. I think in these matters music can be more instructive perhaps?

Either way, I still firmly believe that you cannot encounter each woman you meet as some token of the grand category "Woman," we are all just people, and our gender is defined by society, but love shouldn't be.

Remember with all things related to human passion and desire, the thing you should fear the most is actually getting what you want. The best you can hope for is to be surprised by people, to be understood by them, to be transformed by them.

EDIT: here is a book for you, its pretty good

https://www.amazon.com/Desire-Love-Lauren-Berlant/dp/0615686...

If anything, in your schema, it would make sense to read books on the subject that are written by women.