[pdrbrtt]

Hello There! Former ADHD bro here.

I was diagnosed with ADHD 10 months ago. At that time my life was a BIG BLOB of MESS and CHAOS.

I started attending therapy sessions with a really good Therapist once a week since then.

After 6 months, I had sense of every way ADHD was affecting my life, but couldn't figure out how to overcome the symptoms by myself.

My therapist recommended a psychiatrist, which prescribed Vyvanse 30mg (ADHD med), i started taking it 3 months ago.

It changed everything. I got promoted on my current job, started a post-grad on Data Engineering at a top University here in Brazil. It made me build structures in my life, organize it's mess, gave me focus and HOPE. Productivity at it's best.

I can't think how I could overcome my ADHD without my Therapist and meds.

Before seeking a company that "fits your problems" i recommend you trying these first:

1. go to a really good therapist 2. Make sense on how your ADHD condition affects you 3. Try to overcome it 4. Go for meds if needed (LAST RESOURCE) 5. Keep trying

Don't mix up your ADHD anxiety with depression, it is the worst loophole to dive in.

Hope you find it all out

[jstrodd]

Reading your comment makes me so nervous. I could have written it myself when I was in college. Back then, ADHD meds transformed my life for the better, at least during the first couple years. It was great! A pill solved all of my problems. But then, very slowly, over the course of years, I developed a much worse set of problems. Now, ten years later, I'm struggling with an addiction that affects every aspect of my life. I'm less productive than I was before I ever took meds. I've lost friends and become socially isolated. I fear that my executive function is permanently damaged.

Meds don't even make me productive anymore, they just keep the withdrawal at bay. And the withdrawal is so bad that I can't even function enough to do a time sheet right for at least a week. I can't quit my meds without great difficulty because there is simply no way for me to do that while maintaining employment. I have a family to support, so I'm trapped using this drug that has been devastating to my life in a lot of ways I'd rather not share.

Before I took meds, I was a little bit of an under-achiever and just a typical ADHD sufferer. But I was able to function and get by. Now, I'm barely able to function, and my life feels like it's constantly on the edge of falling apart due to what has become total dependency on the drug. The person I was back then is gone.

Very little research has been done on the long-term effects of prescription stimulant use. I can't say you'll end up like me, but just know that there is a large and growing community of people like me who desperately wish they never took this drug.

[adhd_thraway]

Please talk with your doctors about it, switch specialists if needed. If someone dismiss how you feel about yourself and your situation it's them who is wrong, not you.

One of the reasons ADHD has a bad reputation is because Adderall et al. were given out like candies at some point. I'm 100% aware of that. I wouldn't be surprised if someone would be forced into ADHD box only because parents/doctors/someone else think they should be. Kid is underperforming? Hit it with meds. Too noisy? Same. I wouldn't be surprised neurotypical person would get boost from meds.

I also don't believe ADHD can be managed with "here's a pill, go play" approach. It's a complex issue that requires complex solutions.

[hazmazlaz]

First of all, let me say as someone who has struggled with dependency in the past that you have my deepest sympathies. I hope you find the support you need to overcome the issues you are dealing with.

I do have to object to one statement you made:

>Very little research has been done on the long-term effects of prescription stimulant use.

This is objectively untrue. There has been a great deal of research done on the long term effects of prescription stimulant treatments. The preponderance of the evidence shows that long term use of stimulant medications has limited negative consequences and is generally safe. Here is one such study, and you can explore the citations/related articles to find more:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11322742/

Speaking as someone who was also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, the consequences for me personally being unmedicated are far greater than the anticipated long term consequences, and on the whole the treatment is an acceptable risk.

If anyone is out there who is suffering but is afraid of taking medication, don't be. Talk to a medical professional, and learn for yourself the pros/cons. Treatment with prescriptions has the potential to reduce your suffering.

[JohnBooty]

This is awful to read. I'm so sorry you're struggling. I 100% believe you.

I would mention for others that this is not my experience. I was on Adderall as an adult for about 8 years from 2008-2016 and did not have any long term issues.

Eventually though, it did lose its effectiveness for me. And because it made me slightly cranky, I eventually felt the downsides outweighed the upsides. Especially since there were quite a few instances of adderall shortages at the pharmacies, and those were stressful.

    And the withdrawal is so bad that I can't even 
    function enough to do a time sheet right for at 
    least a week.

Again, I 100% believe you! But for others, I just wanted to say: most people (myself included) find the withdrawal very mild, if you taper your dosage off over 1-2 weeks rather than stopping suddenly. Way less severe than caffeine withdrawal for me.

    ...when I was in college. Back then, ADHD meds 
    transformed my life for the better, at least 
    during the first couple years. It was great! 
    A pill solved all of my problems. But then, 
    very slowly, over the course of years, I developed 
    a much worse set of problems.

Without knowing anything about you, I would hazard a guess that the demands placed upon you and your responsibilities also grew greatly during this time?

Back in college, I was pulled in 2 or 3 directions at a time. Work, school, dating. Yeah, it was a lot.

But now? Maintaining a home, trying to manage finances with an eye towards retiring before I'm 150 years old, marriage, all the health problems that come with no longer being 19 years old, aging and dying parents, in-laws, etc. And I don't even have children. I feel like I'm 2x better at managing things, but I have 5x the demands.

[darkhorse13]

I'm sorry about what happened to you, really sounds awful. Have you tried tapering your dose very slowly over a long time? Speaking from personal experience, that worked for me (thank God) with my med dependency.

[annie_muss]

Can you go into more detail about what withdrawal is like for you? I've been taking methylphenidate for ADHD recently and I want to know what to look out for.

[bladegash]

Not OP, but have been on stimulants off and on for a decade (tried various ones, with Vyvanse and Adderall being most effective, but the former triggering mania so can’t take anymore).

YMMV, but “withdrawal” has never been more than a minor annoyance, even after years at relatively high dosage. Tired for a few days, a little bit lacking in motivation, definitely more difficult to concentrate.

The concentration part is usually the hardest, but is not necessarily worse than before the drugs, you just forgot why you went on them to begin with or how bad your ability to focus really was.

I will say, it can take some time to adapt to that lack of ability to focus though, as your coping mechanisms before you took medication are a bit atrophied due to no longer needing them.

The physical withdrawals themself really aren’t problematic though.

[JohnBooty]

Not the parent poster, but I suppose an extra data point would not be a bad thing.

My main point of comparison for Adderall withdrawal would be caffeine withdrawal. I don't have experiences with other dependencies.

"Cold turkey" caffeine withdrawal was much more severe than Adderall withdrawal for me. Probably twice as bad. In both cases, I felt extremely fatigued. However, severe caffeine withdrawal went beyond "fatigue" and really made me feel like total shit.

Everybody is different but I believe this is consistent with what most people report.

Of course, there is no real reason to go "cold turkey" and quit suddenly. For both substances can just taper your dosage steadily down to 0mg over a week or two and you should be fine.

[karpierz]

For me, it feels similar to when I'd go cold turkey from 2-3 daily cups of coffee (before I started taking medication). 2-5 days of shitty mood, then back to baseline pre-coffee. It sucks, and it will sour your mood when your ability to function drops significantly for a few days, but it passes.

[JohnBooty]

    cold turkey

For the life of me, I have trouble understanding why folks would do "cold turkey" for stimulants rather than tapering their dosage off over a week or two!

[karpierz]

Personally, I have a hard time with moderation, and doing things gradually. I'm very much all or nothing, so it's easier for me to say "no caffeine in any circumstance!" than "okay just a little caffeine each day", because at that point it's easy to convince myself "well half a cup was fine, so just a sip more won't really make a difference."

[mobiuscog]

Exactly the same for me, but also the approach to alcohol. Moderation is not something that works - either I 'forget' or the it snowballs. Therefore, decaf coffee (seems okay) and no alcohol.

[jstrodd]

This is common for people with ADHD. For me, tapering off of a substance gradually is impossible.

[halkony]

I got an ADHD diagnosis at 25. Didn't really surprise me, but I went to see a physician with the intent purpose of getting meds to help me. I told the truth and was able to get a Vyvanse script pretty easily.

Interestingly, I didn't take the meds for very long, despite their more addictive qualities. About a year later, I had an emotional epiphany at a friend's wedding that cured the leftovers of my depression. It really rocked me to my core. Now my body experiences the world in a way I didn't know was possible.

I read in passing somewhere that ~35% of ADHD patients that take Adderall report therapeutic effects (like I had), but I don't recall the source. If anyone knew more about that I'd be interested to hear it.

[maybeadhd]

I'd be really interested in hearing about the epiphany you experienced, if it's something you're comfortable sharing.

[halkony]

Sure, I'm really open about my experience.

I've always been a sensitive person, but at 25, I found myself acting callously because of a history of being neglected. It was a reasonable choice for my life. Effective. I escaped poverty with that worldview and it was reinforced.

I went to a wedding last spring, and the powerful feelings that day made me more sensitive than usual. Something happened that really really made me feel like shit. I brought a date, and for a number of reasons, she acted very cold and distant with me. At times she was disgusted (which I empathized with, but had trouble dealing with). She ended up spending the night with another man. That made me feel awful.

Then something happened that really really made me feel good. This wedding was in my hometown. I had a friend I'd known during 6th grade, but we quickly grew apart because of my volatile domestic circumstances. I shared a lot with this friend about enjoying Actionscript3, even showing him code demonstrations on my laptop at school. The night of that wedding I learned from his mother that, though our friendship was brief, I deeply inspired him to start a successful business programming car engine computers. She told me directly, "I don't think you know how much you affected him." He was at that wedding with his wife and 4 year old daughter. And I thought "Damn, I'm such an amazing person that I inspired this man to start a business to provide for his family. So why do I feel like shit?"

I was on Adderall at the time, and I entered a state of mania. No model for my understanding of other people could reconcile the two feelings. It's simultaneously the most painful and wonderful thing that's ever happened to me. I ended up driving home at 3am after I sobered up. On that 3 hour drive I got to process all the feelings that didn't make sense to me. At some point, I looked into the darkness of the highway and a Jackson Pollock painting was staring back at me. It was surreal.

After struggling to find the words that morning, I found what I was looking for: We all build pillars of personality, and they are not as strong as we think they are. The moment those words popped into my head, I felt an immediate relief in my chest, around my heart. I used to feel like my mind had to consult my chest before I did anything. I leaned so much on my primal, animal responses without realizing it. And it destroyed my mental health. Now I could willingly feel any part of my body without agitating it. It was beautiful. For the next week I'd wake up in the morning and think "My body is so loose. Do I really feel this good?". Unbelievable.

Since then I stopped taking the Adderall, quit alcohol and quit drugs. That journey has been messy and it's taken time, but I'm proud of it. I learned that being proud of myself meant I had to be proud of the moments I've hurt people just as much as I'm proud of the moments I inspire people. Because that's what it means to be me -- not to live for what's right or what's wrong, but to live and simply be.

[tailspin2019]

Congratulations on your progress and thanks for sharing your story. I think I'm a few steps behind you on this journey and it's great to hear how you've found a treatment program that works for you!

[thebigspacefuck]

Is your vyvanse like $300 a month? I was taking it and it helped with a lot of things but I stopped because it was so expensive. Therapy was expensive too

[pdrbrtt]

I live in Brazil, therapy and meds here are pretty expensive. I usually spend a whole Brazilian minimum wage (roughly aroung us$200 - us$300) on therapy and Vyvanse per month. Wage gap here is pretty big so as I work in the marketing/tech industry I can afford to do so as dealing with my ADHD is my priority now. I receive around 7x our country's minimum wage per month as a parameter.

[jason_slack]

I am on Vyvanse and Adderall XR. Vyvanse has a much cleaner feeling to me and it is easier for me to skip a day (if I want to, like staying home and playing with kids) where as with the Adderall I cannot skip a day without harsh side effects.

Edit: and I forgot to mention, my insurance covers it, thankfully but they wouldn't cover something like Mydayis

[halkony]

There's no generic alternative for Vyvanse, so w/o insurance it's going to be costly.

I have ADHD. I've tried both Adderall and Vyvanse, and IMO Vyvanse is the much cleaner feeling drug. Kinda glad the price point kept me out of it because it compelled me to find strategies that dont involve meds.

[pseudalopex]

Vyvanse is an abuse resistant form of dextroamphetamine basically. Generic dextroamphetamine is an alternative if it's legal in your country. Adderall is a combination of dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine.

[sjg007]

Wellbutrin can help too.

[anonymoushn]

I think a lot of vendors carry generic Desoxyn at very affordable prices.

[sph]

It's not the same substance.

Desoxyn is pharmaceutical methamphetamine.

Vyvanse is lisdexamphetamine, a slow release version of dexamphetamine.

Don't be mislead by the name, they're quite different. And methamphetamine is very rarely prescribed, only when everything else fails. While Vyvanse is usually first line treatment.

[anonymoushn]

I did not mean to suggest that they were the same substance. Reviews by people with ADHD people who have tried many meds paint a rosy picture of this particular medication. The order in which doctors prescribe things seems mostly unrelated to which things are best for patients.

[1_player]

So I've heard, but I've also heard psychiatrists being very cautious in prescribing Desoxyn. AFAIR Slate Star Codex linked many times in this thread is one of them. And I'm not even sure you can get it prescribed outside of the US.

Methamphetamine seems to be very effective with fewer side effects, but there's a lot of stigma and legal issues with it being one of the most controlled substances. So even if cheap it's not going to be easy or convenient to get it prescribed.

[jason_slack]

Actually, for me Vyvanse wasn't even in the first three medications suggested to me to try first.

[1_player]

Depends, here in the UK it is, while for example Adderall is very expensive as it needs to be imported from the US.

[anonymoushn]

Eating stimulants should be the first thing on the list, given that the condition is likely to prevent people from progressing through lists.