[sergiotapia]

You feel lost because of your wife. Your wife is supposed to be your sanctuary not bring you more troubles. This is the root of your problem. You are misaligned with your family.

I would speak to your wife about what _you_ want to do (go minimal and sell the business) and try to find togetherness there. You are building on sand if you are not aligned with your wife.

[burnedout008]

Thx for replying. I think that would be a bit harsh on her because honestly she has been very supportive overall on the things that I do. I don't think it is her. I think it is me. I just don't know what is wrong ?

[jventura]

Last year me and my wife started talking about moving to a new, bigger, house. She then started to see some websites and prices, and I started to feel pressured because it would mean I would have to work much harder than what I do now. That pressure started to make me feel very anxious, and I do not deal well with anxiety anymore (too much pressure before, there's so much you can do with motivation self-talk). She has been very supportive before, etc., but her actions resulted in pressure anxiety for me.

This just to let you know that sometimes we feel the (subtle) pressure to move on faster, better, keep buying things, renovating the house (as you mentioned in your post), etc. What I did was to have a serious talk with my wife where I mentioned that all this talk was making me feeling pressured and anxious, and that to move I would have to work more hours, and that it doesn't meet my goals as I need free time for myself and my own things. Eventually she understood, stop putting pressure on me, and dropped that talk.

Of course, it seems simple (A => B), but I had to search inside myself which are some of my personal goals, what do I really need (vs want) in life, etc. Only after I defined these things (by lots of introspection and journal writing) did I feel confident enough in putting some breaks in this thing. For instance, you may want those 10M (you mentioned somewhere), but in fact you may only need time for yourself.

All in all, just to suggest that you should carefully do an introspection (search for articles on how to find your goals in life, things like that, and adapt to yourself). It will take you some time, and you may not be 100% sure of things, but more sure than you are now. Then, talk to your wife, and if she's a good one, she will understand and support you.

[hutzlibu]

"I don't think it is her. I think it is me"

A marriage/family is a system, where it is seldom helpful to just point fingers and assign blame to one party.

So I think it is you both. You both have a problem and the fights over upgrades in the house are probably just surrogates for something different. Couples therapy is a thing, but so is a real vaccation, that can have the same result.

But maybe you also just need a vacation alone. To meet new people.