[jdr23bc]

I agree! As a man I find it much easier to make friends with men or women when there is a shared project or sport.

On the other hand my wife seems to get friends this way: go to party > meet person > coffee date > boom. friends.

for me, arranging a 'friend' date with no goal other than to get acquainted seems awkward. Too intimate, whether with a man or a woman.

[antisthenes]

Men form relationships that way, because activity is the best way to test out what kind of person they are.

What things they are skilled at, do they take initiative, how do others respond to them? Basically, are they going to be a valuable member of the group or not. It's a benign hazing ritual to test the quality of the man.

[insickness]

It's possible that at first it's a test, but even when I'm close friends with men, I tend to talk "shop" rather than talk about feelings and emotional states.

[antisthenes]

Right, but before you can talk shop, you gotta figure out if they are competent at all in anything.

There are definitely people I've met who will try to talk shop, but it becomes immediately apparent that they are just trying to BS their way through everything.