[phphphphp]

I don’t think it’s that at all. I’m a single man and most of my friends and close colleagues are women: it is abundantly clear to me that most men treat friendships with women as a gateway to more. If you treat women in the same way you treat men, i.e: you do not consider friendships to be a gateway to romance, it is trivial to establish, grow and maintain meaningful friendships with women whether you’re single or married.

The fundamental mistake straight men make is that they value the potential of a romantic relationship above the likelihood of a meaningful friendship.

Have I missed out on a potential relationship? Probably… but if that’s the price to pay for these friendships I have instead then I’d pay it over and over again.

Treat women as people and not prospects and it’s trivial to be friends with women. If you want to date, go on a dating app or a dating event or something dating specific. Let women choose to be romantic prospects.

[arvinsim]

> The fundamental mistake straight men make is that they value the potential of a romantic relationship above the likelihood of a meaningful friendship.

Unfortunately, this is only something you learn after having a romantic relationship so there is the "chicken or egg" problem.

[Madmallard]

I don't think this is right at all.

I've been in several long term committed relationships. I still randomly get feelings for female friends of mine. I don't think it has to do with anything the poster above is saying. It just can happen regardless.

[phphphphp]

What do you mean by feelings? Love is a valid emotion in a friendship, I love my best friend as much as I’ve loved any partner. Feelings are not inherently romantic, romantic love is a choice.

Do you mean you find yourself lusting after your friends? If so, you should think about why that is and why you allow it to control your relationships, because lust as a catalyst for the compromise of a friendship is terrible for all involved.

Your life will improve substantially when you begin to treat all friendships, regardless of gender, as distinct, complex and meaningful relationships.

[Madmallard]

What you're saying is subjective but you're acting as if it is objective.