[colmvp]

> Men and women can't be friends. Eventually the sex gets in the way.

I have MANY female friends who have been in my life for decades and I have zero sexual attraction to them (and likewise they have zero sexual attraction to me). I have no idea why people perpetuate this stereotype that women and men cannot be friends. It's entirely possible to separate the people who you want to be friends with and the people you are sexually attracted to. Obviously, the women who I am sexually attracted to I don't attempt to be good friends with for fear of risking my long term relationship.

[barry-cotter]

> I have MANY female friends who have been in my life for decades and I have zero sexual attraction to them

You may be at one extreme of a spectrum. I have certainly known men with higher libidos than me and I find a great many of my female frinds and acquaintances attractive

> (and likewise they have zero sexual attraction to me).

That nothing has ever happened is extremely weak evidence of this if you're as committed to the idea that sex is as important to you as you write.

> I have no idea why people perpetuate this stereotype that women and men cannot be friends.

Because they're from cultures where it isn't or because their personal experince suggests it isn't.

> It's entirely possible to separate the people who you want to be friends with and the people you are sexually attracted to.

This suggests a level of control over feelings that normal people do not posess, not being around people you are attracted to, or very low libido.

> Obviously, the women who I am sexually attracted to I don't attempt to be good friends with for fear of risking my long term relationship.

This completely cuts against everything you wrote above about how it's possible to separate friendship and attraction to the appropriate sex(es).

[thereare5lights]

> I have certainly known men with higher libidos than me and I find a great many of my female frinds and acquaintances attractive

Having a high libido does not translate into wanting to have sex with your close friends.

> I have certainly known men with higher libidos than me and I find a great many of my female frinds and acquaintances attractive

> level of control over feelings that normal people do not posess

Normal is only normal within a culture. I've yet to see any evidence that this is biologically inherent to human beings.

> This completely cuts against everything you wrote above about how it's possible to separate friendship and attraction to the appropriate sex(es).

Given that the original claim is

> When Harry Met Sally was right. Men and women can't be friends. Eventually the sex gets in the way.

I don't see how this contradicts anything. The original claim is that sex will inevitably get in the way. The person you're replying to is claiming that there are women that they will not inevitably become sexually attracted to.

[elisbce]

That's just because you separated the less sexually attractive ones (to you or vice versa) into the "friend zone" and you don't want to mix them with the ones who you might want to have a sexual relationship with.

But fundamentally, friendship (getting along, having similar tastes and views, etc.) can be viewed almost orthogonal to sexual attractiveness. So there is a group of people who are both friend material and sex partner material. You have to deliberately suppress your natural feelings of having a friendship AND having a sexual relationship, and make a choice due to fear of social norms. You might be able to do that, but the desire is still there. That's why there is no real friendship for a lot of people because it is hard to ignore the sexual desire. A moment, a spark can lead to a night of romance between two close friends who are sexually attracted to each other. And this whole friendship thing could collapse.