[WalterSear]

I was recently diagnosed with trauma disorder by my psychiatrist - due to long standing work-related issues, but specifically in regards to my current rounds of remote technical interviews.

So, at least IME, it's not helpful.

[taurath]

Hey just wanted to say I'm really sorry you're having to go through that - its a cruel system. Don't be afraid to ask for affordances like take-home tests - I've found for me the biggest indicator of trouble is whether I think the interviewer is hostile or helpful. Otherwise, trauma really sucks to have to deal with, please take care of yourself first and foremost.

[joelbluminator]

Wait seriously - you've been diagnosed with trauma from interviews? Jeez what the hell happened in there - if it's alright I'm asking?

[WalterSear]

Yes :(

I'm just exceptionally sensitive to rejection and evaluation, and over the years, the interview process has become more traumatic for me, rather than less. Even decent technical interviews (ie - complete the task 100%, don't flub, don't blank out) can take me days to recover from - my physical/emotional reaction is often very far from where my rational mind perceives the situation. I was once deeply distressed by an interview where I ultimately received an job offer.

It's a common aspect of ADD (rejection sensitive dysphoria), but it only really becomes a disruptive issue for me during job searches. However, as I develop as a coder, and apply for more senior positions, the gap between my performance in interviews and my perception of my abilities and value as a coder gets wider, and so does my distress.

I've considered avoiding proctored and timed interviews entirely, but the cost of this not small: the more in demand a job opening is, the more motivated the hiring personnel are to streamline the process and to be comfortable with low-value methods to pick and choose between candidates - they have so many more candidates to eliminate. So, in the past, I feel I've taken jobs that I did not feel entirely excited about and ended in toxic work situations, that I was hesitant to leave, due to the trauma involved in hiring.

I've probably disclosed more than is wise, given that I'm actively looking for work right now, but I'm kind of exhausted of hiding myself, and any hiring manager whose snooping my HN account is sure to find even better reasons not to hire me :)

[bradlys]

I see myself in this - I ended up getting past a lot of it. Mostly just required repeated success - which came from hundreds and hundreds of hours of studying, dozens of mock interviews, and hundreds of real interviews. I'm better now but by no means the best. After all - where I live (SFBA) - people live and breathe this stuff. A lot of the time because they enjoy it... It indexes on very certain personalities.

[raydev]

Yeah this is the shitty part of it.

I did eventually find success. But that took years of not just grinding LC, but so many failed interviews. And nearly $1k on mock interviews and books.

It's clear these companies are selecting for a very particular type of person, even if other types are just as capable of actually meeting/exceeding expectations once they've secured the job.

But I can't argue with the money so I put my body through hell to get there.

[bradlys]

> But I can't argue with the money so I put my body through hell to get there.

lol - truth. Sadly - my wife became my ex-wife over it. She wanted the $3m house but without the husband having to grind for it. :( (Of course - she didn't work)

[joelbluminator]

What was the most helpful thing u did? mock interviews? books?

[joelbluminator]

> I've probably disclosed more than is wise, given that I'm actively looking for work right now, but I'm kind of exhausted of hiding myself, and any hiring manager whose snooping my HN account is sure to find even better reasons not to hire me :)

Naa don't worry about it, that's very unlikely. And if someone disqualifies you for what you wrote here I don't think you wanna work for them anyway.

[taurath]

In the same way that kids with pressure on their SATs or college admissions or just generally "must do well" develop severe anxiety and depression there's no reason a panel of people testing you to determine your future economic value couldn't be legitimately traumatic - especially if you have a lot on the line either physically or emotionally, and don't have much in the way of security.

I've nearly passed out in whiteboard interviews. I've had my BP spike to 150. I've nearly completely shut down. This doesn't happen even most of the time - I've also run multiple high profile launches for companies you know of and I react to emergencies extremely cool and collected. But I have a background that includes severe childhood trauma. Just to help your imagination!

[arenaninja]

Not OP and I haven't been formally diagnosed with anything, but I also ran into severe anxiety issues (with no history of anxiety at all) after technical interviews. It's bad enough that I can't watch TV shows with any violence from overreaction

I underperform severely from trying to keep it together during that time, and the perfect scenarios/answers always come to me minutes after the interview is over!