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Yes :( I'm just exceptionally sensitive to rejection and evaluation, and over the years, the interview process has become more traumatic for me, rather than less. Even decent technical interviews (ie - complete the task 100%, don't flub, don't blank out) can take me days to recover from - my physical/emotional reaction is often very far from where my rational mind perceives the situation. I was once deeply distressed by an interview where I ultimately received an job offer. It's a common aspect of ADD (rejection sensitive dysphoria), but it only really becomes a disruptive issue for me during job searches. However, as I develop as a coder, and apply for more senior positions, the gap between my performance in interviews and my perception of my abilities and value as a coder gets wider, and so does my distress. I've considered avoiding proctored and timed interviews entirely, but the cost of this not small: the more in demand a job opening is, the more motivated the hiring personnel are to streamline the process and to be comfortable with low-value methods to pick and choose between candidates - they have so many more candidates to eliminate. So, in the past, I feel I've taken jobs that I did not feel entirely excited about and ended in toxic work situations, that I was hesitant to leave, due to the trauma involved in hiring. I've probably disclosed more than is wise, given that I'm actively looking for work right now, but I'm kind of exhausted of hiding myself, and any hiring manager whose snooping my HN account is sure to find even better reasons not to hire me :) |