[uptownJimmy]

My wife's mother just died of cancer after being in remission for many years. Her suffering over the last 9 months of her life was sometimes extreme, and the impact of her death on all of us has been profound. I never suspected I would grieve for her the way I am doing now, and it has often been completely overwhelming.

My best advice is to know that it is not easy, and you will be distracted by your fears and anxieties and worries, and it's okay, because that's the way it works. Seek any support you can find: there are groups devoted to all manner of helping people cope with disease and grief, etc. Seek a counselor who specializes in this sort of thing, seek comfort from friends and family, be honest about what is happening in your life: tell your co-workers and bosses and everyone else. Don't keep it to yourself, don't be afraid to walk through this darker time in your life with your soul more bared to the world than might be your usual habit.

I hope your mother recovers, and I hope you are able to be with her often and help her understand how much you love her. It is a terrible thing to love and be afraid as you love, but you can get through it one day, one moment, at a time.

But always remember to find people who can help you cope and understand how normal it all is to feel the way you do, whether it's professionals you find through medical contacts/referrals, friends or family, etc. Don't try to do this alone.

[incrudible]

> Seek a counselor who specializes in this sort of thing, seek comfort from friends and family, be honest about what is happening in your life: tell your co-workers and bosses and everyone else. Don't keep it to yourself, don't be afraid to walk through this darker time in your life with your soul more bared to the world than might be your usual habit.

I somewhat disagree with this. Having a confidant is important, but less is more. Most people are not emotionally equipped to deal with your personal struggles, even if they mean well. Counselors are hit and miss.