[aaron-santos]

I love how asking people why they are leaving is not on the list. Instead it's gathering metrics and data. If you treat people like numbers, that's sort of the explaination right there. Anything to avoid actually building a working relationship.

[lrem]

Asking why they leave is risky. You might learn things you don't want to learn.

[willvarfar]

Standard advice is to be falsely positive in exit interviews. The internet is awash with guides to not burning bridges etc.

[nkingsy]

Just to hammer this home, at my last job, I was planning to transition out slowly, wrap up projects, document, etc. I gave some actionable feedback when they asked why I was leaving in the meeting to discuss that transition.

I think it was along the lines of “you now have 2 engineers and 8 people managing those engineers. It seems you have a retention problem and are management heavy. You also have some great engineers you promoted to management who likely have something to do with the bad retention. Maybe they should start coding again.”

I was fired on the spot. Gave me a month to leetcode grind, so I can’t complain.

[joshstrange]

This 100%.

Sorry but I'm probably not going to tell you all the reasons I'm leaving or the issues I see with the company. I have no intention of coming back but I won't burn the bridge on my way out or sour any chance of a good referral down the line. Also companies are notoriously bad at hearing anything negative (no matter how true) about themselves. I'm leaving, so I have no interest in getting into a fight/argument or being gaslit on my way out.

[tombert]

I mentioned this in a sister thread as well, but I totally agree. A lot of companies really do not want to hear criticism, no matter how much they say they do.

On an individual level, I've had managers that I genuinely do trust, and with them I probably would give honest feedback, but sadly none of those managers have ever actually conducted my official "exit interview".

[tkojames]

Yep my dad drilled that one into me. Every exit interview I have done is the same exact script. I really was not looking I am quite happy here but this was to good of opportunity to turn down.

[alexchamberlain]

I want honest feedback from the exit interview- it's the only way we can improve as a team you leaving, and the way you performed and conducted yourself while working on the team has a far higher weighting for me than what you say to HR on the way out.

[vlod]

Not saying this happening to you :) but it's too late for you or that person.

Meaning that person most likely has been suggesting fixes/complaining (to you 1-1) about 'X' which you have control or 'Y' which you do not.

If it's 'X' (you can control), then it's your fault for not stepping up and fixing it. Expecting someone to summarize everything they've been saying to you for a year (just read your 1-1 notes) is not cool.

If it's Y, then there's nothing you can do or say, to convince the person to stay.

It's mostly correct IMHO, that people leave companies because of managers and their inability to listen or write notes in their 1-1.

[aaron-santos]

It is. And this answer is why I alluded to exit interviews. Understanding the structural reasons why this standard advice exists is the first step in a line of questioning that leads to some uncomfortable conclusions for HR and businesses, but on the same turn that makes it precisely why it should be investigated.

[dagw]

My first tech job I quit and was rather blunt when explaining to my boss what I thought of him and the job. Less than 2 years later I found myself sitting opposite the same boss in a job interview at a different company.

[giantg2]

At my company, the bridge auto-ignites behind you. They blacklist you. They also won't provide referenced nor allow manager to give you one.

[abakker]

I suspect that may not be legal?

[giantg2]

Which part and why?

[toomuchtodo]

Yikes, run!

[giantg2]

Nowhere for me to run.

[monocasa]

You need both. It's important to see the forest through the trees, but it's also helpful to not run into the tree right in front of you.