[lwn]

I ran my life into a train-wreck, after doing a start-up. I'm still recovering from a burn-out. Luckily I still have my wife and kids around. They also had to put up with a lot.

Some advice:

1. Go do a ten day retreat with Vipassana: https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index It will learn you to 'listen and intercept' your impulses so you can deal with 'work-triggers' more easily

2. Turn your notifications off, forever. Train yourself discipline on order not to look on your electronic devices all the time

3. For every 'effort' you take, there should be an equal amount of recreation. Exerting and relaxing should be in balance (Keep in mind, using a screen is not relaxing)

4. Eat healthy, plenty of outdoors/ nature and exercise.

[acituan]

> Go do a ten day retreat with Vipassana

No, no, no. Spiritual retreats are not self-regulation tools, they are an education. 10 day intensive during a burnout is asking for trouble. It can’t be your first contact with Vipassana and if you use it to bypass what you need to solve, you’ll end up worse.

Just rest, engage with mundane, real life (think sunshine, nature, using your body, eating well, laughing with friends etc), then do a “postmortem” on why did this happen and how can you prevent it; ideally with a therapist. After things are back to a normal, then you can add more practices like Vipassana, just start from the shallow end.

[lwn]

Hmmm, I haven't though about it in this way. You do have a good point. Creating bypasses for problems is very realistic.

[russelldjimmy]

I did something similar. I was in a startup with a toxic culture. It took me a while to find out how toxic the culture was, and I finally (was forced to) quit. It was that experience that my eyes opened and in hindsight, it was a really good thing to happen to me.

I decided to take an indefinite break and during my break, I wanted to do Vipassana for the first time. About a month into my break, I went for the course (and had no expectations - it was something I just wanted to try out).

It was a life changing experience for me, but not in an immediately obvious way. The 10 day retreat gave me the tools and showed me a glimpse of a more integrated mind, but the real gift was the daily habit of meditating once or twice a day. That was what made the difference.

(To address the first reply to your comment - I understand what they mean to say. To be clear - Vipassana itself is work, so doing it _during_ a burnout might not be the best idea. Maybe a short break before doing it would be ideal.)

I am back into workforce now, but working for a much larger megacorp and while it isn’t perfect, it allows me a healthy work-life balance. I am much more clear about what I want in life now, and about the things that make me truly happy. I have quit the startup race with all the trappings of “making it big”, “destroying the incumbents”, etc.

Some context for those interested:

I have also been going to therapy for over a year now. In the process, I have come to accept that I am intellectually gifted. This was hard to accept because I was so fearful of seeming “arrogant”. However, all I was doing was creating more self-conflict. Now, with this knowledge that I am gifted, I am much more sincere to myself, and I can understand other people in a much clearer light. There is no judgement - of myself and of others.

The knowledge of me being gifted also takes off the weight of other people’s expectations and opinions - which is what drove me to the toxic startup in the first place - a way to “prove myself” disguised as “wanting to change the industry”.

Now that I realise I don’t owe anybody anything, nor is the world waiting for me with bated breath, I am much more at ease with the actions I take. I don’t feel guilty or obliged to be at the cutting edge of anything. I don’t feel guilty in indulging in “me time”, sitting around doing nothing on a Sunday afternoon, and just not “accumulating” knowledge anymore.

It is freeing.

A lot of my life was driven by fear. Self-knowledge is the ultimate treatment for fear. The more I learned about myself and my emotions, the more I became confident about my actions, because I feared the negative outcomes a lot less. It is true when they say that most of our worries are about things that never happen.

[balfirevic]

> Keep in mind, using a screen is not relaxing

Why would watching a movie, sports game or playing a video game not be relaxing?

[david-gpu]

Your mind stays busy. It is much better to go out for a walk and simply remain present.