| I did something similar. I was in a startup with a toxic culture. It took me a while to find out how toxic the culture was, and I finally (was forced to) quit. It was that experience that my eyes opened and in hindsight, it was a really good thing to happen to me. I decided to take an indefinite break and during my break, I wanted to do Vipassana for the first time. About a month into my break, I went for the course (and had no expectations - it was something I just wanted to try out). It was a life changing experience for me, but not in an immediately obvious way. The 10 day retreat gave me the tools and showed me a glimpse of a more integrated mind, but the real gift was the daily habit of meditating once or twice a day. That was what made the difference. (To address the first reply to your comment - I understand what they mean to say. To be clear - Vipassana itself is work, so doing it _during_ a burnout might not be the best idea. Maybe a short break before doing it would be ideal.) I am back into workforce now, but working for a much larger megacorp and while it isn’t perfect, it allows me a healthy work-life balance. I am much more clear about what I want in life now, and about the things that make me truly happy. I have quit the startup race with all the trappings of “making it big”, “destroying the incumbents”, etc. Some context for those interested: I have also been going to therapy for over a year now. In the process, I have come to accept that I am intellectually gifted. This was hard to accept because I was so fearful of seeming “arrogant”. However, all I was doing was creating more self-conflict. Now, with this knowledge that I am gifted, I am much more sincere to myself, and I can understand other people in a much clearer light. There is no judgement - of myself and of others. The knowledge of me being gifted also takes off the weight of other people’s expectations and opinions - which is what drove me to the toxic startup in the first place - a way to “prove myself” disguised as “wanting to change the industry”. Now that I realise I don’t owe anybody anything, nor is the world waiting for me with bated breath, I am much more at ease with the actions I take. I don’t feel guilty or obliged to be at the cutting edge of anything. I don’t feel guilty in indulging in “me time”, sitting around doing nothing on a Sunday afternoon, and just not “accumulating” knowledge anymore. It is freeing. A lot of my life was driven by fear. Self-knowledge is the ultimate treatment for fear. The more I learned about myself and my emotions, the more I became confident about my actions, because I feared the negative outcomes a lot less. It is true when they say that most of our worries are about things that never happen. |