[peanut_worm]

That implies that there are a lot of provoked shark attacks

I bet the sum of provoked and unprovoked shark attacks is still less than the unprovoked and provoked soda machine deaths ;)

[slavboj]

Overworked and underpaid shark attacks

[InfiniteRand]

Perfect solution: soda machines can pay the sharks to increase attacks thus reducing the prominence of their own murderous agenda

[xrd]

It's so simple it's brilliant. Who has all the money and is being robbed? Vending machines. They want to fight back but keep getting attacked in the liberal AND conservative media. Who has all the teeth but no money? Sharks.